


a love like winter

by tooruluv



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Drunkenness, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Party, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25238563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooruluv/pseuds/tooruluv
Summary: ❝ my love for him is much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. too bad he never liked the cold. ❞being the neighbor and lifelong best friend of tooru oikawa definitely had it’s perks. you were never an outcast, always had a seat at lunch, got into volleyball games for free. the problem was, however, that being in love with him outweighed those perks. you would never tell him that, though, even if it hurt like hell.( also posted on my tumblr @ tooruluv )
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 88
Kudos: 339





	1. end of winter

**Author's Note:**

> my first oikawa fic! originally posted on my tumblr!
> 
> just a note: i did base a lot of experiences off of american high school, as it's easiest for me to write and i genuinely don't know too much about japanese high school life. i hope it doesn't bug anyone too much :)

Knowing Tooru Oikawa the entirety of your life had its pros. You were never an outcast, always invited to social events, and you got into all of the volleyball games for free. Being his best friend also led you to be friends with the rest of the team, you had a permanent spot at the lunch table and a locker next to his. Being his next door neighbor and family friend also included awesome parties, Saturday movie nights, and constant “family get-togethers”, which meant eating barbeque at one of the houses and hiding out in one of the bedrooms while your parents talked about whatever parents talk about.

The problem was, however, that being in love with Tooru Oikawa had its cons. When he would casually put his arm around your shoulder, it would send a shiver down your spine. Or when he would bend down at the waist for you to fix his tie, and you were just a tad too close, it would be on your mind for the rest of the day. Friendly mannerisms would send you into a spiral.

He didn’t know that, though. And you didn’t plan on telling him anytime soon. How would that conversation go anyway? “Hey, ‘Kawa, I wanted to let you know that I’m deeply in love with you and I have been since we were 13, maybe even longer than that. Oh! Good luck on today’s game, though!”. _Yeah, fuck that._

“Are you even paying attention, nut?” Oikawa interrupted your internal monologue.

It was way past sundown, and you were in the gym with him as he practiced his serving (even though his serves were already perfect and could probably put a hole in your head if you were on the other side). You were on the floor, scrolling mindlessly through your phone. You hadn’t even noticed he had stopped serving and was now standing in front of you in all his sweaty glory.

“What?” you asked as you looked up at him. You swear his dick was literally at eye level in those fucking grey sweatpants. _Don't look, you freak._

“I asked if you were ready to go, but apparently your phone is more important than I am…” Oikawa sighed, acting as though you just stabbed him in the heart.

“Shut the fuck up.” you stood up, following him to the door. “Like anything would be more important than you.”

He chuckles, wrapping his arm around your shoulder (as he usually does, but it makes you smile anyway). “I would sure hope not, because you’re the most important thing to me.”

It was things like that, the little things he said, that gave you hope. That maybe he felt the same way about you. Or at least gave you hope that one day, the two of you could possibly be more than… _this._

 _This_ being your stupid unrequited love to the man.

“More important than volleyball?” you jokingly asked, bumping him with your waist. 

“Don’t push your luck.” He pushed you back. His arm didn’t leave your shoulder.

You both laughed as you walked home together under the moon.

\--

Tooru Oikawa always got nervous before games. It never made any sense to you, especially when he would always act as though he wasn’t nervous at all. He would come to school, smiling and waving at everyone, as though he already knew they would win. Which was the case more often than not.

You could always see through it, though.

“Your hands are shaking.” you told him as he opened his locker beside you. He sent you a glare. “It isn’t even a big game, I don’t know why you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Nervous, then? Anxious?”

He was silent for a moment. “No.”

Another thing that you knew about Oikawa was that he would never simply agree to being anything other than excited. “Scared”, “worried”, those types of words weren’t in his vocabulary. So, instead of pressing on, you simply reached over to fix his _stupid fucking_ tie that he always messed with. (“It chokes me” he would always say, even if it very obviously was loose).

His face was close to yours as you fixed his tie (you did have to yank him down so you could properly tighten it). You could feel his breath on your face, the smell of mint heavy in the air. _God, don't look at his lips._

“You guys will do amazing today.” you told him as you secured his collar. “Besides, it’s a home game. No one is going to beat us on our own court.”

“You’re the best, seriously.” Oikawa said, standing up and placing a hand on your head. “How did I ever get so lucky?”

“No idea. I guess opposites attract.”

He laughed, playfully pushing your head away from him. You laughed too, going to push him back; but he was too fast and dodged your attack. 

“Hey don’t use all your energy deflecting me, ‘Kawa.” you called. He was already down the hallway, “Save your energy for the game!”

He turned around to stick his tongue out at you.

\--

Oikawa always let you wear his jersey to games, and he always purposely made sure to make eye contact with you before the game began. You always loved going to volleyball games, if not for the free entry (see: Perks of Being the Team Captain’s Best Friend), but the fact you got to gawk at and cheer for Oikawa without it being weird.

His eyes found you in the crowd, lighting up when they caught yours. You waved at him and pointed to your jersey (his jersey). He smiled, giving you a thumbs up. A girl in front you thought it was for her, and screamed. You cringed.

The game was an easy one, a quick win in your opinion. The team thanked everyone for coming, shining in victory. Girls rushed down to talk to them. You simply gave a silent wave to them before leaving.

You would see them later, anyway.

\--

Hajime Iwaizumi knew. He wasn’t an idiot, so of course he knew. He’s been around since the three of you were little. He always caught the small glances you would give his best friend, that look in your eyes. He also was a witness to how Oikawa never looked at you the same way. Maybe Tooru was oblivious, or just so stupid it was ridiculous. Anyone in their right mind could see how in love with him you were, and have been.

You think that’s why you and Iwaizumi became close.

“I know.” he had told you after the game. He was still kind of sweaty, in uniform with his bag hanging over his shoulder. He handed you a juice box.

You always met the boys outside of the locker room, where they would come out after saying goodbye and cleaning up. It was a routine, yet this was the first time he had come out early.

Confused, you looked up at him. “You know… what?” You focused your stare on the juice in your hand.

“He’s an idiot, you know. Shittykawa. For not knowing.” He ignored your question. You could basically hear your heartbeat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do.” Iwaizumi adjusted his bag, though not because he was uncomfortable. “Listen, I’m not going to force you to admit it or anything. That isn’t why I’m telling you. I’m telling you that I know so you have someone to talk to. I might be his best friend but I’m yours too.”

It was silent for a moment. You weren’t shaking, weren’t mad or upset that he knew.

“You won’t… tell him?” you finally asked.

He nearly jumped back at your question. He would never. “That isn’t my business to tell. It’s yours.”

You let yourself smile. “You might be my new favorite, Iwa.”

“New favorite?” A voice interrupted. Ah yes, the man in question. “But.. I thought that I was the favorite…”

He hadn’t heard anything but the last part, thank everything and everyone. You wrapped your arm around Iwaizumi’s waist, jokingly bringing him closer. You heard him chuckle.

“I don’t know, ‘Kawa, I think Iwa is my favorite now. He always brings me juice boxes after the games.”

“Maybe she’s my favorite now too, Crappykawa.”

Oikawa pouts. “I can bring you juice!”

“Ah, get over it, you’ve been replaced.” Iwaizumi turned the both of you around, your arm still around his waist.

“Wait! This isn’t fair!” He called as he rushed to walk at your side.

The three of you joked like that for the rest of the walk home. But you all knew that’s what it was: a playful joke. You needed support, and Iwaizumi decided to be that support. Even if it meant watching you basically scream for Oikawa to love you back in silence.

\--

Tooru Oikawa had stayed the night at your house countless times as you grew up. It was not an uncommon occurrence for him to show up in the dead of night just to sleep over, even if he has an older brother and little sister that he could easily have a sleepover with. You never complained.

This was one of those nights.

It was late one night, the sun long gone and the moon hanging high in the sky. You were still up at that ungodly hour, trying your best to fall asleep. That was, until there was a loud knocking on your front door.

Your parents happened to be gone on a short business trip together in some European country, leaving you alone for the week. The knocking scared the shit out of you. 

Groggily, you walked down the stairs to the door. The knocking only got louder and faster.

You peeped through the hole first, seeing the boy on the other side before swinging the door open.

“You better have a _good fucking_ explanation as to why you’re here in the middle of the night, scaring the shit out of me nonetheless.”

Oikawa walked in, blue pajamas and glasses instead of contacts, looking beautiful even with bedhead. You closed the door behind him.

“I slept with this girl and she will not leave until morning. I tried kicking her out multiple times. Please let me stay here for the night. I just want to sleep.”

You scoffed, but led him to your room anyway. You want to blame it on those _damn_ puppy dog eyes that you can’t help but fall for. But you knew that the only reason you agreed was because Oikawa’s cuddles were the best cuddles.

The routine came naturally. You climbed into your bed first. He climbed in shortly after, placing his glasses on your nightstand as he did.

As he pulled the blankets up and wrapped his arm around your middle, you tried not to think about the fact he had just had his dick inside of someone else. Instead you thought of how warm he felt behind you.

\--

“I think I’m just a stupid idiot.” you complained. “None of this makes any sense and I’m going to fail my entrance exams and I’m going to die alone and stupid and I won’t be able to do anything in life because I’ll be working in fast food.”

“Slow down.” Iwaizumi chuckled, flicking you on the forehead. “It’s just a math equation. You’re definitely not a _stupid idiot_.”

You gave him a look.

“Yeah okay, maybe an idiot. But not a _stupid_ one.” He paused, looking up from your paper. “Watch your back. The love of your life is coming. He’s coming closer. Oh shoot, don’t blush, but he’s almost here.”

You threw your pen at his face and he laughed. Almost immediately, Oikawa’s body plopped next to you. He messed up your hair as he did.

“You guys would not believe how many girls are asking about my party this weekend.” he said as he searched his bag for a pen. “I would not be surprised if the whole fucking school showed up, haha.”

“Party?”

“Oh shit, I didn’t tell you?” he looked at you. “I’m so sorry, nut. It must’ve slipped my mind. Yeah, I’m throwing a party after we win our tournament on Saturday. Parents are gone, and my brother is taking my sister to some waterpark over the weekend. You have to be there.”

“Like I would be anywhere else.”

You and Iwaizumi shared a look. It was weird that Oikawa hadn’t told you, and that the entire female student body had known before you. That had never happened before. _Not that it mattered._ No.


	2. party closets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: the “party scene” so mentions of alcohol, underage drinking, weed, getting high, and some mentions of sex, mentions of throwing up (!!), strong language (per usual), lots of angst, i based a lot of the experience on american high school simply because it’s easier for me to write

Now, the exact day you fell in love with your best friend didn’t exist. There was no specific day, no specific realization, no “I had a dream about him”, no sudden “I see him in a different light”. It was a messy timeline of a million things, a mixture of _waiting_ and _wanting_ compiled together into what you determined to be love.

“How long have you been in love with him, anyway?” Iwaizumi asked you one evening.

It was after volleyball practice, and the two of you were sitting on your bedroom floor. He was leaning his back against your bed, one leg bent at the knee, his practice jersey still on, moonlight dancing off of his skin.

You would be lying if you denied his attractiveness ( _Like, c’mon, have you seen him? Seriously, there must be something in the volleyball water_.. anyway..). You just never viewed him as anything other than a friend, a good one.

You were laying beside him, legs propped up on your bed and your head on the floor.

“I don’t know.” you told him honestly.

It was at that exact moment that you realized something else: you never openly admitted your love for Tooru Oikawa. Not once had the words slipped past your lips, to yourself or to someone else. The longest secret kept, in your opinion.

“I guess it all kind of mixes together, in the end.” you explained, deciding that the ceiling is the most interesting thing to look at. “Do you remember, when we were kids, and we were playing outside? And I brought that tub thing of peanuts?”

“Yeah, I remember that.”

“And ‘Kawa called me stupid for bringing it because it wasn’t…”

“It wasn’t peanut butter and why have peanuts when they _aren't spreadable_?” Iwaizumi finished with a small laugh.

“Yeah. I think that was one moment that I was like _“oh”_. He even threw them at me.”

The two of you sat in silence for what felt like half an hour. It was a comfortable silence, one of processed memories and fondness.

“He does still call you nut.” Iwaizumi spoke into silence. You smiled.

\--

“ _I should beat your ass_! You scared the shit out of me!”

You were walking out of class when hands clasped around your sides. Your immediate reaction was one of both terror and putting your guard up, which ended up with you jumping and going to punch whoever just attacked. Luckily, it happened to be the tall, brown-haired volleyball captain.

“You’re cute.” he walked with you.

“What do you want from me, ‘Kawa?” you asked, pausing in the hallway in front of your next class.

“What could you possibly mean? I can’t just scare the shit out of my best friend?”

This fucker.

“You can scare me until I pee.” You crossed your arms, looking into his eyes. He always seemed to stand too close to you. “But you never call me _cute_ unless you need something from me.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. You are very cute. The cutest.”

You squinted up at him, trying to see through his lies. He smirked.

“Soooo… there is something I want to ask you. Completely irrelevant from me calling you cute. That would have nothing to do with this request. Have I mentioned that you look good in the uniform? It really…”

“You’re a dork. Ask.”

“Do you still talk to that one guy from across town? The guy you buy alc from?”

“You want me to buy alcohol for the party.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He pursed his lips. “Yes, I can get it. Now get to class before you’re late.”

Oikawa smiled, eyes squinting and tongue between his teeth. “You’re the best!” he exclaimed as he picked you up in a hug. 

You watched as he jogged down the hall.

\--

You knew your way around. It was a gift you had: the ability to just talk up anyone and find a way to get what you’re looking for. You knew people all over Japan, to be honest, that could help you in basically any way. It had been that way since you were younger.

The first time you ever bought alcohol is when you were thirteen. And it wasn’t even for drinking. You and your friends (when you had a million friends and not two) wanted to play spin the bottle and figured it would look cooler if you were to use an actual “drink”. You gave it to your mom as a gift after.

Since then, you had bought drinks for various things. Parties, get togethers. It was only when Oikawa’s older brother wasn’t able to get it for you guys, of course.

This was one of those times.

There was this little shop a little ways away (in Torono, to be specific) that never ever ID’d anyone. You would always go there to buy since you found it at thirteen, to the point that you and the owner were on first name bases. Sometimes you would have actual conversations, if he was in the mood. Sometimes you barely spoke, but he would still bag the bottles for you.

His eyes only lifted from what he was reading for a moment to catch yours as you entered the Sakanoshita Store. You were already by the alcohol.

“You’re still not of age, kid.” he spoke through the cigarette.

“You’re still smoking.” you joked. You placed like ten bottles on the counter. “I thought you were going to try and stop. Health and all.”

“I know you’re not talking to me about health, you little alcoholic.” he sat up, running a hand up his hair to fix his headband. “Just give me the money before someone comes in.”

The exchange was fast, per usual, and you were leaving with a black bag of fun. “Thank you, my darling Keishin!”

“Get out of my store. Don’t die.”

And he was back to reading, cigarette still hanging from his lip.

\--

The volleyball tournament ended the exact way Oikawa thought it would: wins. So, that meant that the party was already in full swing before the sun was down. You were moving between crowds, cup in hand.

It was not a secret that you were Oikawa’s, and (by association) the rest of the volleyball team’s, best friend. You sat with them at lunch, you interacted in the hallways, you let some of the boys copy your homework. It was quite obvious. That was the main reason so many people approached you. Their main goal was popularity through the most popular and successful sports team at the school. You didn’t mind.

It was when the girls would come up to you asking you to put in a good word for them to Oikawa that you had to put on a fake smile and say “yeah!” or “of course, I’ll give him your number!”. They never made it past your memory.

“What do you think?” The man of the hour asked from his position beside you. You were watching the party from the kitchen, the already drunk laughs and conversations blurred into a single volume. “How much cleaning do you think we’ll have to endure?”

“Ah, definitely hours.” You took a sip from your cup. You offered him your cup, knowing whatever’s in his cup is nonalcoholic. “You might as well live a little. Take a guzzle, you earned it.”

“You know I don’t drink.”

“But you’ll get high.”

“That I _will_ do.” He took a sip of his cup. Maybe he put his drink in a red solo cup to look like he’s drinking, or maybe he just did it because it was better than drinking out of an actual juice box. You didn’t bother him with it. “Speaking of getting so high I forget everything around me, I gotta find Hanamaki.”

“Have fun!”

“Without you? Unlikely.” he joked. Your stomach turned.

You didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or the love.

\--

“Technically, you’ve kissed Oikawa.” Iwaizumi told you as you both sat in the corner. You were both definitely tipsy, but not quite drunk yet.

You scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

Tooru Oikawa has kissed you, sure, but never once had it been on the lips. He had left kisses on your forehead, cheeks, temple, top of your head. Even one time on your hand. But never lip to lip. And Iwaizumi bringing it up out of nowhere made your cheeks heat up. You blamed whatever was in your cup.

“We played spin the bottle before. I kissed both Oikawa and you. And by contact, your lips were also on his.”

“You are a shitstain in my underwear, Iwa.”

“Ah yes, that was the most ladylike sentence I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

\--

“Dance with me!” you pulled Oikawa with you to the dance floor. It was freshman year, and both of your families were invited to a wedding. It was some woman your moms were friends with, you don’t remember.

But he agreed, and let you drag him along as you danced. The songs were fun and fast, and a majority of the reception guests were dancing their hearts away on the floor.

“You’re really beautiful, you know that?” he told you that day, in the midst of the summer sun.

That was one of those moments. Those blurred moments you wished you could record to memory as the beginning of your love for him.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” You told him, but your mind screamed you’re beautiful too.

\--

The night was something between a blur and random scenes mashed together. Several drinks later (why did the vodka taste like water?) and hits from multiple joints, you were staring in tunnel vision.

You remember a snippet here, a minute there. You danced with Iwa for a bit, before he went to do something. You hung out with some people on the couches for a bit, and there was definitely a lot of laughing. You remember laughing.

What were you doing again?

Oh yeah, you were trying to find Oikawa. You didn’t know what exactly you wanted so desperately to tell him. You figured your drunken mind would find out what you wanted when you found him.

Scanning the crowds, you couldn’t find the boy. The house wasn’t that huge, he had to be somewhere. Come to think of it, you hadn’t seen him at all since he went to get high with some of the boys.

Finally catching a glimpse of him, you smiled to yourself. You were going to do it. Maybe today, maybe at some trashy party Oikawa threw, would be the day you would tell him you were in love with him. Maybe not. You didn’t really know. You just knew that you missed him and needed, desperately, to talk to him. Hear his voice.

Maybe you were pretty drunk, mind drifting away.

And he just happened to be your anchor.

Everything was moving around you. In slow motion or way too fast, you couldn’t really tell. That was, until everything froze at once.

Oikawa was standing in the far corner of the party, with someone else. He had his tongue down her throat, lips chasing hers in some passionate dance you only wished you knew what felt like.

You only stood there as he groped her, and her hands in his hair. You didn’t recognize her at all. But he was unmistakable. Even with his hair sweaty and in front of his face, he was undeniable.

You were going to throw up. 

You had to find Iwaizumi.

\--

“Takahiro Hanamaki!” You waved to the man. He immediately caught your eye and came to you.

“What’s up? Oh, shit you’re drunk.” He helped as you nearly stumbled. His arm stayed under your armpit as he stood in front of you.

“Have you seen Iwa? Need to talk to him. Best friend emergency.”

“I thought Tooru was your best friend.” Hanamaki looked behind you, eyes scanning over the people for you. You almost threw up on the spot at the sound of his name.

There was a huge difference in _hearing_ about Oikawa’s girls and hearing about who was in his bed, and _seeing_ it with your own eyes. It made you sick to your stomach. You lost all breath, all feeling in your body. You didn’t know to be mad or jealous or upset. You decided that you were going to be all three.

“The last time I talked to Iwa, he went that way. He might be throwing up somewhere or something.”

“Okay, thanks my little wing spiker. My little outside hitter. My stoner boy.” you pinched his cheek.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked before letting you go. “You look like you were crying.”

Were you? Did you cry? You didn’t think you did. But it was definitely a possibility as you have been trying not to do just that for the past ten minutes.

“I don’t know, I think I’m just red from being crossed. I can’t even see straight. Ha ha.”

Hanamaki didn’t press it further, but he did give you a smile and hand you a water bottle. You liked being friends with the team.

\--

The volleyball team were always the nicest towards you. They greeted you with smiles whenever they would come across you in the hallway, always made sure you had a smile on your face.

They all knew, too. It wasn’t hard to see how out of the entire team, Oikawa had you wrapped around his finger. (Unintentionally, of course). They tried to get him to notice. “She looks good today, right, Oikawa?” or “It’s Saturday, don’t you have plans?”. Not that their efforts helped.

Maybe one day Oikawa will know too. They all hoped, at least. Your constant heartache and their captains obliviousness was starting to hurt.

\--

You found Iwaizumi in a closet near the stairs. The party was still in full effect, but it was quite near there. The only problem was that he was not alone, and was, in fact, preoccupied with someone's tongue down his throat.

“I swear to everything that is holy, I am so sick of finding people like this.” you sighed. “The second time today and I’m going to seriously vomit all over the place. I’m not kidding.”

Iwaizumi gasped, pulling away from whoever he was with. It wasn’t until they were both apart that you realized who it was.

“ _Matsukawa_?”

You got pulled into the closet, the door slamming behind you.


	3. you’re... gay

“You’re... _gay_?” you whispered.

“It isn’t a fucking slur, you drunk ass.” Iwaizumi spoke, shoving you with his arm (making you hit your head on the door, but you barely noticed). “And I don’t know what exactly I am, but I just know it’s not straight.”

“Matsu?” you turned to the other boy. 

“I’ve been gay, and Iwa is sexy as fuck so who am I to deny his sexual awakening?”

It almost made you laugh.

It was hot in the closet. Dark. And you were squished in between two (very tall) men. A single light hung from the ceiling, swaying slightly.

“I uh,” You were so numb. You played with your sleeves. “I watched ‘Kawa make out with this girl. Stood there like an idiot and watched it happen. And it… it sucks to like _know_ about it but to _see_ it…to watch it happen…it’s way worse.”

“Oh,” They both said, sadness laced behind a whisper.

“You were going to tell him, weren’t you?” Matsukawa inquired.

You gasped, turning wide-eyed to Iwaizumi. He held his hands up in surrender. “You told him?” and “I didn’t tell him I swear!” coming out of both of you at once.

“I knew for, like, years now.” Matsukawa interrupted. “You’re the most obvious person ever, just so you know. You might as well be the fucking heart eye emoji whenever you look at him.” He paused to gauge your reaction, which was nothing. “Back to my question: you were going to tell him, weren’t you?”

“I..” you bit the inside of your cheek. “Yeah, I think so? I don’t know. I just know I really wanted to talk to him and see him and hear his voice. And I still do. But now my mind is full of him and the really pretty brown-haired girl exchanging spit.”

“Gross.”

“Maybe we should get out of the closet and get some air.”

\--

The next morning, you woke up on the floor in the guest bedroom. Iwaizumi had taped a piece of paper to your forehead (“drink water” it said), and a blanket was wrapped around your upper body. You could not remember what happened after leaving the closet, how you ended up in the guest room, or why you were on the floor and not in the perfectly good bed above you.

But, nonetheless, you got up and headed downstairs to the kitchen. _Where the fuck is Oikawa?_

A loud thump interrupted your thoughts. _Yup, there he was._ You let out an annoyed groan as he decided to make the most noise possible on his way to the kitchen.

You pulled yourself onto the counter, wanting to slam your head against the cabinet. You never got hangovers, why was today the day you got one?

“Well don’t you look beautiful this fine morning.” Oikawa greeted, smiling.

He always looked his best in the morning, you thought. He may come across as perfect, but it makes your heart do flips when he comes in with bed head and his glasses on. Not to mention he looked absolutely gorgeous in the morning sunlight, beaming and bright.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” Your eyes were still closed.

You heard movement, a cabinet open then close, and only opened your eyes when he stood in front of you (in between your legs, no less). You held your breath.

“I look amazing, and you know it.” He was so close you could feel his breath. He brushed his teeth, the smell of mint circling you. Why was he so close?

He reached forward, pressing his hand to your forehead. Still half awake and clearly extremely hungover, you leaned into his touch as he moved his hands to your cheeks. His eyes scanned your face, but your eyes never moved from his.

His hands paused and stayed on your neck, just below your jaw. Hovering.

Unconsciously, you leaned forward. Only a little bit.

And he did too.

Your lips were so close. If you wanted to, you could kiss him. Just like that. A few centimeters away, and you could do what you’ve wanted to do for years. Feel what it would be like to be one of the many girls who had their lips against his. The air was so tense, so full of something you couldn’t explain. Just a few centimeters. Was he leaning in too?

He moved back.

“Medicine for your head, and you have a little bit of a fever so there’s something for that too.” Oikawa spoke. His voice sounded deeper, but maybe you were just thinking things. A small cough from him. He put pills into your hand. “You get something to drink. I’ll start picking up trash, you’re on…”

“Cups and cans duty.” You finished. It was always the routine. “Thank you.”

“Don’t slack off too much, you fucking drunk.” He joked, smiling at you with a trash bag in his hand.

You rolled your eyes at him, throwing the nearest empty can at him. You smiled, but your heart was aching.

\--

The first time Oikawa had ever thrown a party, it was a disaster. 

People flooded the house, though it was only supposed to be a small get-together and ended up a huge banger. The school talked about it for a while. An increase in his popularity.

The two of you were left to pick up the mess. 

“Where the fuck do we start?” you asked, staring into the abyss that was once his living room.

“I’ll pick up the garbage and you pick up the cans and bottles?” Oikawa suggested. “If my mom finds any alcoholic beverage in this house she will pelt me with my own volleyballs.”

“I’ll help too.” Oikawa’s older brother said from the doorway, trashbag in hand. “Let’s get to work. We only have until six.”

\--

Matsukawa soon joined your routine.

For the past month or so, Iwaizumi would eat lunch with you in the library as you studied for the entrance exams. Oikawa would join sometimes, or he would come right before lunch was over. He liked to eat lunch in the cafeteria, liked to “have that break from studies”. You two didn’t mind, you got more done without him distracting anyway.

Matsukawa had become your third-party during Lunch Study Dates. You didn’t complain, and you didn’t ask the two of them what exactly their relationship was. You joked with Iwaizumi that you were simply there to hide the fact they never stopped flirting. He would just laugh.

“Wait, you almost kissed?” Iwaizumi asked, studies long forgotten.

“I think so, yeah.” You kept your eyes on your paper. “It was weird, and the air was super heavy. And he hasn’t talked to me since. Not even while we were cleaning.”

“Not even a text?” Matsukawa asked.

“Not even a wave in the hallway.”

“Now that’s weird.”

“You’re telling me.” You finally looked up. “I.. Nothing has ever happened between us like that. Ever. And it was so out of nowhere, like, you would think our first almost kiss would be some cool moment or something. But it was just us, and I was hungover as fuck, and we just spent the rest of the afternoon in silence. And all that there has been since is just that. Silence.”

“I’m sorry, love.” Matsukawa reached over to place his hand over your wrist. “You know what. Tooru is an idiot. He is. I would have kissed you.”

“You’re gay.”

“And I would’ve kissed you. That’s the highest compliment you can receive. Accept it, woman.”

\--

Growing up with Tooru Oikawa, you knew many things about the boy that many didn’t. You knew that he always put extra syrup on his pancakes and waffles, you knew that he always preferred hot showers rather than the cold ones his mother always tells him to take for soreness, and you knew that he practiced more than anyone could imagine.

He grew up with a volleyball attached to his side. He set it whenever he could, he would serve it into your yard (and then go get it and serve it back into his). He would ask you to join, but you always just watched.

Growing up with Tooru Oikawa also made you witness his growth. And you think that’s another reason you fell in love with him.

His passion was indescribable. You couldn’t count how many times people (including yourself) have told him to relax, take a day off, remind him to eat and drink. But his heart was in it, no matter how much it distracted him from daily fleets. You admired him for that.

You didn’t have that Thing growing up. You tried a lot of different things, different hobbies and sports and classes. But you never had that thing that you had so much passion for that you had to remind yourself to breathe.

\--

One week of silence. One week of nothing from your best friend. Not a text, a call, a smile sent your way. Not even an eye contact.

It was strange. Your entire life had revolved around being around him, your routine included smiling and walking with him in the hallway, fixing his tie in the morning.

He was already in class when you came to school. And his tie was straight.

\--

You decided to spend most of your free time in the library, knowing that Oikawa didn’t find himself in there very often. If he was going to avoid you without an explanation, you could avoid him just as hard and for just as long. That was your logic.

Iwaizumi joined you, plopping himself down on the couch beside you. It sat in the back of the library, in the corner away from everything. You were being Sad TM.

It was so stupid, of course. To be upset or sad about something that didn’t even happen; at something that almost happened but never did. Iwaizumi reminded you that it wasn’t about the near kiss, but the silence after.

A body appeared out of thin air in front of you. You wouldn’t mistake the boy for anyone in the world.

“’Kawa.” You said, looking up. He looked way taller from your position on the couch. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He said. No “nut” this time. He fidgeted with his fingers. “Can I get my jersey back? The one you wear to the games?”

Your eyes shot up.

“’M sorry?”

“Can I get my jersey back?” he asked again.

You felt Iwaizumi put his hand on your thigh. You must’ve been shaking. One week of complete silence and complete rejection and absence only to be met with the break of a tradition.

“Um, yeah.” You blinked. “Yeah. I have it at home, I can stop by later and give it to you.”

“Just bring it tomorrow. Before the game.” He spoke. But his voice didn’t sound like his. It was forced. Since when was talking to you a task?

“O.. Okay.”

\--

A pinky promise was something taken very seriously. As kids, it was treated with the upmost respect and honor.

It was middle school, and the team announced that for a special tournament, and for school spirit, that the players would pick their best friend to wear their jersey to the games.

Oikawa immediately came to you with his “away” jersey, proudly holding it up. “Pinky promise me that you will always wear my jersey to my games!”

“Pinky promise!” you had told him.

You wore the jersey as you wrapped your pinky around his. Wearing his jersey became one of your favorite parts of going to his games.

Guess in high school, pinky promises don’t mean the same thing.

\--

The thing about Tooru Oikawa is he never dates. This was something you knew for certain. He has never once had an official girlfriend, and he always talked about how he never planned on having one (“They’re both a distraction and a big responsibility,” he would say. “Besides, what would I need a girlfriend for when I already have a girl who does everything for me?” he would add).

Which is why you were surprised to see him hand in hand with a very familiar girl later that day. The long perfect brown hair, the long legs. After seven days of not speaking to you, he had a girl wrapped around his arm as though it was the most casual thing of him to be doing.

You stopped in front of them, trying your very best to hide your confusion.

“Oh!” he smiled, saying your name. Acting as though he hadn’t just asked you to turn in something that had meant something important to your friendship (at least it did to you). “You haven’t met Sana. My girlfriend.”

The aforementioned girl, Sana, smiled at you. Perfect teeth, of course. She gave a slight bow before reaching out her hand. Girlfriend.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve been waiting to meet Tooru’s best friend!”

You forced a smile as you shook her hand. “Nice to meet you too, Sana.”

You looked over her shoulder, to Oikawa (who looked nervous, fidgety in fact), and to Iwaizumi and Matsukawa (who stood a bit further away, but just as shook and confused as you).


	4. introducing two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> releasing this early <3 enjoy my loves

You wanted to hate Sana. You wanted to resent her, wanted her to be a bitch. But she wasn’t. She was beautiful, and kind, and she just wanted to date Tooru Oikawa. Who were you to blame her for that?

“What is your skincare routine?” Sana asked. She pulled you closer, eyeing you as if she could see into your soul. “You have to tell me what you do with your skin.”

“Only if you tell me what hair products you use.” You told her before thinking. Sana also happened to be very easy to talk to.

She turned to Oikawa, smiling with her hand wrapped around yours. “I’ll see you later, babe, but right now I’m going to get some incredible insight. I might steal her from you.”

Oikawa just stood there. You had never seen him more confused in your entire life. He looked out of place. Like he wasn’t expecting things to happen the way they were. “Go for it.” He said. Stoic.

Sana basically dragged you away, arm in arm. She was taller than you, so you had to put in effort to keep up (something you happened to be very good, all your friends were giants). The two of you spoke nonsense about skin and hair and some other things you couldn’t remember.

“You know, I was scared to meet you.” She told you as you stopped in front of her locker. You gaped. “I know, I know. I just didn’t want you to blame Tooru for not telling you about us. I asked him not to.”

“Can I ask why?”

She giggled. It was soft. “I wanted you to like me.” She pulled out a book and shoved it into her bag. “I needed the soulmate stamp of approval.”

“..Soulmate?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Sana turned to you. Her hair flipped over her shoulder as she did, her bangs never leaving the perfect place across her forehead. “You guys are literally inseparable. You and Tooru. A lot of us joke about how the universe put you guys together, platonic soulmates.”

 _Platonic soulmates,_ she said.

“I couldn’t possibly let myself be with him if you didn’t like me.” Sana continued, not really gauging how you were responding. “That’s why he hasn’t really talked to you. I’m so sorry for that, I shouldn’t have told him to keep his distance.”

“I guess I just thought he was mad at me.” You told her. Again without thinking. “We’ve never gone this long without talking, ever. And he was…” you paused. “He asked me for his jersey back and I didn’t really..”

“He asked you for his jersey back?” Sana slammed her locker shut. “I swear I’m going to kill him.”

She mumbled something about how he doesn’t listen. You stood beside her, hands at your sides.

“I literally told him not to do that.” She told you. “He offered me the jersey, and I told him that it was not my place as his girlfriend of a god damn week to take a jersey you’ve worn for years. He’s an idiot. Keep it, I’m serious.”

You didn’t know what to say.

You wanted to hate her, you really did. You tried to find a flaw, something to stick to, but nothing came up. _God how you wanted her to be a bitch._

“You don’t hang out with girls often, do you?” She asked. You were walking to class now, her arm linked with yours as her bag hung over her other shoulder.

“I only hang out with ‘Kawa and the boys.” You shrugged. 

“Well consider me your official girl best friend. Starting now.” Sana stopped, gasping as though she came to a sudden realization. “Oh my god! We should go to the mall together this weekend!”

You shifted your backpack on your shoulders. “I.. I don’t think..”

“Oh, come on! It’ll be super fun.” She continued, her face lighting up. “We can even have a sleepover after! Please?”

“I’ll have to talk to my parents… I..” You gave up trying to make her the Bad Guy. “Yeah. That sounds fun. We can stay at mine, if you don’t care.”

Sana sent you the brightest smile. “I can’t wait. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Your arms were unlinked, you heading down a different hallway to your class. “Oh, and Sana?”

“Yes?”

“You have the soulmate stamp of approval.” You turned around before you could see her response.

\--

“You’re not mad at him?” Iwaizumi asked you. “How are you not livid right now?”

“I am mad.” You twisted a pencil in your hand. “But I’m more mad at him for completely ignoring me than having a girlfriend.”

“If I were you I would beat the shit out of him.” Matsukawa spoke up from beside you. He gasped. “Oh my god, I can beat his ass for you. Do you want me to?”

You chuckled. “I’m flattered, but no. Not worth your time or energy.”

The three of you were in the library during lunch, again. You know you should go back to the cafeteria, find a new spot at the lunch table (your previous spot next to Oikawa, in between him and Iwa at the circle tables). But the three of you liked to have a break and just hang out and talk shit at lunch. It became a thing between you and Iwaizumi, but you were happy to have Matsukawa join.

“Speaking of me being pissed off,” you changed the topic. “I’m pissed off that I’m the only one who knows about you two? Um, hello? When will you guys just say you’re dating and get it over with?”

“Hanamaki knows, though his suspicions are unconfirmed.” Matsukawa said. 

They were official, you knew. The two of them never told you “hey we’re dating!” or anything like that, but you knew. The same way Iwaizumi knew you were (are) in love with Oikawa. And, it doesn’t held that both of them call each other nicknames and have each other as “bf” with about three trillion hearts in their phones.

“We’re going to wait.” Iwaizumi said. He wasn’t uncomfortable. “I have to tell my parents first. Then we can tell everyone.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Iwa I didn’t even think…”

“Seriously, don’t apologize.” He smiled at you. “You just want us to be happy. And right now, we are with what we have.”

Matsu put his arm around your shoulder from beside you. You were happy for them, too. Though the same couldn’t be said the same about your love life.

\--

Tooru Oikawa invented a game when the two of you were kids. It was a stupid game, and you were pretty sure it was just a game he found while playing with other kids, but it was so fun to you.

You would invite kids over, including Iwaizumi, and would play it all the time in your backyard. The game was simple. Someone was the Catcher, and whoever was Catcher had to stand with their back to the players as the players stood against your house. The Catcher would then shout out a color, and if a player was wearing that color, they would have to run to Oikawa’s house (and touch it) before the Catcher caught them. Oikawa called it “Rainbow”.

One day while playing, Oikawa caught you while you were sprinting. He snatched you by the waist and basically bear hugged you. Everyone was a giggling mess, as kids are.

“Got you!” Kid Oikawa exclaimed. “Got you, got you! You’re it!”

Sometimes, you wished you had the ability to see when you grew up.

\--

Sana ended up becoming a pretty decent acquaintance, despite only knowing her for a day. She was very nice, and extremely fun to talk to. Sana just wanted a girl friend; and after talking to her, maybe that’s what you wanted too.

You were walking in the hallway with her, arms linked as Sana preferred, talking nonsense about classes and the game that night. It was the beginning of the day, so the halls were filled with people who weren’t in class still. 

“Are we still on for tonight and tomorrow?” she asked you.

“Yeah. If you’re still cool with staying at my house, I think my parents were excited to hear me bring a friend whos a girl over.” You said.

“Oh my god, yes. That sounds perfect!” She nudged you with her arm.

“Okay.” You thought for a second. “If you like to drink, we can get some bottles or wine coolers or something before going home. I know a place.”

“That’s the best idea I’ve ever heard.”

You stopped in front of your class and she unlinked your arms. “I’m not kidding when I tell you that I’m excited. I’ve told you before that I was nervous about meeting you when I started dating Tooru, but you’re so cool. Thank you.”

“You’re thanking me?” you laughed. “For what?”

“For being the coolest friend to Oikawa.” A bell. “I got to go to class, if I get another tardy my parents will have my head. But I’ll see you at the game! Wear the jersey!”

She sent you a wink before heading to class.

“Thank you!” you called, and she turned around. “For being the coolest girlfriend to Oikawa.” Though your heart ached.

\--

After school, Iwaizumi came over. They had a bit of time before the game, so most of the guys like to come home to eat a little bit or hype themselves up.

Like most days, you were sprawled out on your floor as he sat up against some random object in your room. That day, it was your dresser. He was exhausted, and you could tell.

"Can we be serious for a minute?” he asked, and you sat up. “You’re in love with him. You’ve been in love with him for years. How did you know?”

Your eyes flickered between his. “What do you mean? I thought you already asked this before.”

“No, no.” he was nervous to ask you. “No, how did you know that you were in love with him? Like what does that feel like?”

You couldn’t hold back a gasp and a smile. “Oh my God! Hajime Iwaizumi, you’re in love!”

“No..”

“Yes you are!”

The teasing went on like that for a while. It went on and on, the both of you giggling and bickering about teenage love. You didn’t remember exactly how it ended up like this, your head resting on his lap and Iwaizumi’s hand in your hair. You felt your friendship with him, in that moment.

“I think I am. In love with Matsu, I mean.”

“I think you are too.” You spoke. “I see the way you two are with each other. The glances and feeling. He definitely loves you too.”

“We’ve been together way longer than when you found us in the closet.”

“I know.”

“Are you still in love with him?’

A pause. “Yeah.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“’Kawa may be the stupidest person I know.”

“… _but_..?”

“No _"but"_. He’s just the stupidest person I know.”

A chorus of laughter. You didn’t even hear yourself, didn’t hear Iwa. You missed this. 

You also didn’t hear Oikawa come in, and didn’t notice him standing at your doorway.

“Right.” Oikawa said, bringing a silence to the room. He just turned and left.

You stared at the now-empty doorway. You didn’t remember when you sat up.

“Go.” Iwaizumi pushed you at your waist. “Go get him.”

Without thinking, you rushed out of your room and down the stairs. You finally caught up to him outside, in the middle of your houses.

“Are you ever going to talk to me?” You called. You were angry, upset.

Oikawa’s back was toward you. He wasn’t walking, but you didn’t get any closer. It was like talking to a fucking brick wall.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He said simply.

“We almost _kissed_ , ‘Kawa.” You said. Your hands were in fists at your sides, shaking. “We _almost kissed_. And you haven’t talked to me, haven’t even _looked_ at me since. You don’t get to be mad at me. You don’t get to be mad I’m hanging out with Iwa when you haven’t talked to him either. And you can't blame Sana for not talking to me now, either. _Please_ just talk to me.”

“Like I said.” He still had his back toward you. “Nothing to talk about.” 

With that, he walked back to his house. You stayed on the sidewalk until you felt Iwaizumi pull you back to reality.

\--

You were pretty sure that anger took over every emotion that night. As you sat at the game, in that _stupid fucking jersey_ you put on as routine, you stared daggers at the floor from the bleachers. You weren’t even in the student section.

You were slouched in the bleacher, arms crossed, when you felt a body sit next to you.

“You seem far too pissed off to be watching a volleyball game.” The boy told you. “A game you’re winning nonetheless.”

You stole a glance, not leaving your slouched position between the bleachers. He was cute, dark hair and definitely tall (though it could just be because you were sitting). He wasn’t even looking at you, so you turned your eyes back to the court.

He offered you an already open bag of chips, holding them in front of you.

“You don’t go here.” You ignored his offering. 

“You’re not wrong.” He looked at you. “I’m here from another school. Trying to see what some friends of mine are up against.” You finally looked up at him. “What’s your name?”

You deadpanned. “What’s yours?”

“I asked you first.”

“Second the best, first the worst. So I win.” You said. “What’s your name?”

The boy set his bag of chips down and held out his hand, chuckling. “I’m Kuroo, Tetsurou Kuroo.”


	5. i solemnly swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to post these on a schedule but i just said "fuck it"  
> also, i didn't know all of y'all are SIMPS for kuroo omg

For the first time ever, you didn’t meet the boys in the back after the game. For the first time ever, you just gave them a wave from the bleachers and left. For the first time ever, you didn’t congratulate them on a win. 

It felt off. Oikawa never sent you a look, either; never stole a glance.

Sana met you outside (she was one of the girls who crowded the boys on the court after). She was smiling and cheerful and bright, as usual.

“That game was amazing!” She exclaimed as you began walking. “You wore the jersey! I didn’t find you in the crowd, I really tried! I only found you after the game ended.” She paused, but didn’t stop walking beside you. “Where are we going? Don’t you live next to Tooru..?”

“We’re getting alcohol.” You told her. “I’m not feeling myself tonight and would love to get a drink.”

“Oh, even better.”

\--

The Sakanoshita Store was still open, neon lights still burning in the setting sun. It wasn’t too far, just a little out of the way, and Sana never complained once.

“Hello, my darling Keishin!” You greeted the man behind the counter.

“You brought a friend this time.” He stated simply. His paper was still high in front of his face, the smoke of his cigarette hovering above it.

“I did. She’s cool, don’t worry.” You placed a pack of wine coolers, hard lemonade, and a bottle of vodka on the counter. “We’re having girls’ night.”

“Looks like it.”

He set the paper down as he placed your drinks in a black bag and took your money. Always with the fast exchanges. You grabbed the bag.

“Now get out.”

“Adore you too!”

It was you who linked your arm through Sana’s, this time, as you left.

\--

You had Tetsurou Kuroo’s number.

He offered it to you, along with his friendship, at the game as he scratched the back of his neck and did his best to pretend he flirted with girls all the time. You thought it was cute.

“Here’s my number. Text or call it sometime.” He had told you confidently, but then let the façade fall. “Or not. That’s fine too. Also, please don’t call me. I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t know.”

You chuckled, and finally sat up from your slouched position on the bleacher. “Are you sure you want to give your number to a girl from a school you’re up against?”

“Yes, I’m sure. She happens to be cool.”

You raised a brow. “You don’t know her that well.”

“I know that she’s still talking to me while she’s pissed as fuck. And that she’s funny, and that she didn’t care that I was scouting from another school.” He told you. “I say that’s pretty cool.”

“She might have to text you, then.”

But as you walked with Sana to your house, you didn’t know if you were going to. You didn’t want him to expect a relationship, not when your heart clearly belonged to someone else. But if he was only looking for a friend.. maybe. You didn’t know. You were confused; conflicted.

It scrambled your mind as you just focused on getting home and hanging out with the girl who was dating the man you love.

\--

Iwaizumi hadn’t expected you to be waiting in your normal spot after the game. He knew that you mainly did that to walk home with Oikawa. Still, it was odd to come out to emptiness.

He was adjusting his bag on his shoulder when Oikawa came out of the door. Iwaizumi noticed that he looked disappointed for a moment, just a flash of emotion across his best friend’s face that he wouldn’t have caught if he didn’t know him so well.

They started walking in silence.

Until, “Hey, Iwa.”

“Hi.”

“Is she mad at me?”

A pause. They didn’t need to define who “she” was.

“I’m not the one who needs to answer that.” Iwaizumi didn’t look at him, frustration heavy on his shoulders. “You almost kissed her and then told her that there was nothing to talk about.”

“She told you about that?”

“She tells me everything.”

“Oh.”

Oikawa sounded sad. Or defeated, to use a better term. Iwaizumi almost felt bad for him. He had no idea. Oikawa had no idea how hurt you had been, how much love you held for that man. He had no idea how much the little things he did affected you.

“She isn’t mad at you.” Iwaizumi finally told him, catching Oikawa’s attention. “She just… she just doesn’t understand. Why you’re not talking to her, keeping secrets. It never used to be like that between you two before.”

Another pause. “I couldn’t tell her.”

“Hm?” He didn’t hear Oikawa, his response nearly a mumble.

“I couldn’t tell her. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t tell her. About me and Sana.” Oikawa was staring at the stars. “I only got together with Sana at the party, made it official or whatever. I was going to tell her that morning, but then I almost _fucking kissed_ her. And now whenever I see her I think of the fact that I was so close to kissing her, and I can’t bring it up to Sana because what asshole makes it official with his girlfriend and then almost kisses another girl the next morning?” He took a breath.

“You’re not an asshole.” Iwaizumi looked at the boy beside him. “But ignoring your childhood best friend because of something that didn’t even happen is a dick move. She misses you.”

A sarcastic laugh.

“I’m being serious.” He stopped in front of Oikawa’s house. “You’re confused, and that’s fine, but she’s even more confused. She’s not mad at you.”

“Are you dating?”

The question was so out of nowhere, Iwaizumi had to look around to figure out where it came from. 

“ _Oh_ , you brilliant asshole.”

“You guys have been spending so much time together, and I always feel like I’m interrupting something whenever you two are talking, and…”

“I’m going to stop you there.” He placed a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder. “Me and her? Never dated, not dating, and never going to date. She’s not my type.”

God, he wanted to just scream from the rooftops at the two of them. Wanted to just tell him that you were in love with him, wanted him to know why you were as broken by this as you were. Hajime Iwaizumi was a lot of things, but being a dick was not one of them. He would never.

“Not your type..?”

He took his hand off of his shoulder, patting it twice before turning to walk towards his house. “She’s not my type. Besides, I’ve been dating Matsukawa for months.”

\--

Six shots in and three wine coolers, and you were laying upside down on your desk chair. Sana sat on your bed, back against the wall and a giggling mess. The entire night had consisted of telling stories, asking each other questions, and getting to know each other. It was extremely fun.

“I met a boy tonight.” You spilled to her, giggling a little.

“A _boy_?” Sana leaned forward, cup still in hand and intrigue in her eyes. “You met a boy? Did you get his number?”

“Yeah, but..”

“You have to go for it!”

“I don’t know, it’s weird.”

“Oh no, was he weird?”

“No, he was super cool.” You smiled at the thought. “And super smart too. Came scouting from another school. The thing is, I’ve kind of had a thing for another guy for a while, and it’s weird to think of someone else in that way.”

 _Subtle_. You didn’t care.

“The guy you’ve had a thing for, does he have a thing for you?” Sana didn’t ask you who, or pressure it. You liked her.

“No.”

“Then go for the boy you met today! You deserve a boy who likes you like you like him. Besides,” she motions to you. “You’re sexy as fuck. Any man who doesn’t have a thing for you is crazy.”

“I know you’re not the one telling _me_ that.”

“Hand me your phone.”

You spun in the chair to sit upright, giving her your phone. She sat her cup on the floor as her glossy eyes scanned the device.

“The boy in question’s name?”

“Kuroo.”

“Mm, spell it for me.” Sana started typing as you told her the characters. A final tap. “There you go. The start of something new.”

She handed your phone back to you, and you looked at what she did. A simple text to Kuroo, a simple “ _hey! it's the cute girl from the game ;D_ ”. 

Sana chugged the rest of her drink. “Oh! Oh my god, if you guys end up becoming a couple you can go on double dates with me and Tooru!! _Oh, please_ let that happen I’ve been _dying_ …”

You didn’t really pay attention as you watched the three little dots pop up. Kuroo was typing.

\--

You never got hangovers. It was something you pride yourself in. Turns out, neither did Sana. Which is how you ended up where you were: fully dressed, hair and a little bit of makeup on (curtesy of Sana), and two bags in your arms at the mall before noon.

“Did he text? Did he?” Sana begged, head over your shoulder.

Kuroo and you had texted the majority of the night. Some of which were blurry, as you were pretty drunk for most of it (and he knew that, and reminded you to drink water but only if that doesn’t consist of walking down stairs). 

And, this morning, decided to accept your invitation to join you and your friend (yes, you and Sana were considered friends now) at the mall. 

You spotted him, sending him a wave to know where you were. He caught your eye and waved back as he navigated through the human traffic. Kuroo was wearing just black jeans and a random red shirt, and you’ve decided that red looks good on him.

“That’s him, the one in the red and the dark hair.” You told Sana.

“Mhm, that’s a man for sure.” She joked, bumping you with her hip when he finally was close enough to talk to.

“Hello, Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“Helllo, cool girl.” He greeted. 

“Hope you don’t mind my friend came with me. This is Sana.”

You could’ve sworn that his eyes never left yours until that moment, like you were the only person he could see, and he hadn’t noticed the tall and pretty girl next to you until you brought her up.

He shook his head before greeting her as well. “Hi, Sana. Nice to meet you.”

“Actually, I think I’m going to go shopping at Victoria’s Secret for a minute. I’ll leave you two to it.” She turned to you, sending you a small wink. “Meet me in the food court later?”

“I.. You’re sure?”

She pulled you closer by your arm, whispering into your ear just loud enough for you to hear. “I’m telling you right now that I would rather stare at a brick wall than third wheel for the rest of the day; I can feel his attraction towards you burning in the air. We can hang out tomorrow at school and you can tell me all about it.”

She pulled back, smiling as though she just told you something completely normal. “Nice to meet you, Kuroo. Take care of my girly, okay?”

Kuroo held up his right hand. “I solemnly swear.”


	6. oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no particular warnings for this one! just enjoy, my loves <3

“I brought the good nacho popcorn seasoning!” Kuroo told you as he rummaged around inside of his bag.

Tetsurou Kuroo had become a close friend in a short amount of time (it seems as though that was something happening to you often, these days). The “mall date” was full of conversation and laughter. You found out he was an only child, played volleyball himself and went to some camp, that he’s never had a girlfriend, and that he’s actually very funny. He grew on you.

You both sat on the couch, claiming it from your parents as you usually do on Saturday nights. This time, it was just with a different boy. Your parents didn’t mind.

Kuroo tossed the bottle to you once he found it. You caught it, and immediately started to pour it into the bowl that was full of popcorn and m&m’s. 

Not too long after, the both of you had a scary movie on. You both sat on the couch, the bowl on the table in front of you. He sat with one leg tucked under his outstretched one, his arms crossed into his hoodie pockets. You sat next to him, a couple inches between so you don’t rub your leg against his. Your legs were brought to your chest.

“Are you cold?” Kuroo asked you, leaning forward to get a better look at your face.

“Just a little.”

Before you could protest, he took his hoodie off and held it out for you. You were about to deny his offer when he decided to lean back and literally shove the thing onto your head.

You were giggling when you pulled your arms through. “Thank you, but I could’ve just grabbed a blanket.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He turned his attention back to the TV. _Was that a blush?_ “You look good in red.”

You couldn’t help but smile. You moved closer to him, your body flush with his. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, something you hadn’t felt in a minute, and both of you smiled as someone got killed on screen.

\--

Tooru Oikawa had always been your safety net. He was the one you went to for absolutely everything, even if it was a minor inconvenience. He was the one you called if you were lost, the one you exchanged looks with when the teacher would say something that could be passed as an innuendo, the one you would go to if you had a splinter or broken nail. And that safety would go both ways.

He would always show up in the middle of the night, or ask you to join him on the occasional Monday for you to watch him practice when he’s supposed to have the day off, or even facetime you just because. 

Yet, this time, when you received a very drunk call from Oikawa, it didn’t feel normal.

You missed the call (it was at five in the morning), but you were left a very long voicemail from the boy.

“ _Nut!~_ ” He slurred into the phone, basically directly onto the speaker. “ _Hello love. Hi. I drank a lot tonight. By myself. Very good. I should do this more often._ ”

You smiled to yourself. Oikawa hated being drunk, he would always make a point to never drink whenever he had the opportunity to. It was cute, the slurred and soft-spoken version of Oikawa you were receiving. 

“ _I just wanted to say. I miss you. A lot. That’s why I came over the other day. I have so much I want to tell you but I…_ ” Something muffled the speaker, and you couldn’t hear what exactly he was saying after that. Until, “ _Yeah, I just miss you a lot. I sleep now._ ”

You listened to it again.

\--

Iwaizumi sent you a text Sunday. You were at dinner with your parents, out at some restaurant for the night. You went to the bathroom to read it (your parents had a rule: no phones at the dinner table if you’re eating as a family). 

“ _I told my parents._ ” It said.

\--

“You don’t drink.” You said to Oikawa Monday morning. You didn’t look at him, both of you at your lockers. He sent you a look.

“I don’t drink.” He repeated.

You finally shut your locker and looked up at him. The first time in a long time that you were talking. He seemed taller, thinner.

“Why were you drunk this weekend?”

Oikawa’s eyes wouldn’t meet yours. He shook his head. “I wasn’t.”

“You’re lying to me now?”

He shut his locker and started to walk down the hall. Before he could get far, you stepped in front of him and cut him off. He stopped.

“I got a voicemail from you.” You told him, and his eyes shot to yours. “I miss you, too. I don’t know why you won’t talk to me, but I miss you too.”

For a moment, it was just the both of you standing alone in the hallway. Like nothing else really mattered. He was finding the right words to say, and you waited for him to reply. Your chest was aching, and you wanted to throw the word “love” at him right then.

“I…I miss you a lot.” He finally said. You held back a smile. “But, um, can we talk? Later?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” You were too eager, you knew. “We can talk later.”

Oikawa sent you a smile, something you missed, and your eyes found his tie. Before thinking, you reached up to tighten it. He chuckled.

“Yeah, I can’t fucking get this shit right.” He told you, letting you bring him closer to push it up. “Sana’s been fixing it at breakfast but I was running late this morning so we didn’t go.”

“Good thing I’m always here, huh?”

\--

You walked next to Iwaizumi and Matsukawa on the way to lunch (the library). They were holding hands, openly smiling and giggling and being gay. You loved it.

“What was it like?” You asked them as you sat at the usual table.

“When I told my mom that I liked guys and I think I’m bisexual, do you want to know what she said?” Iwaizumi asked you. You nodded. “She said, and I quote, _“well I can’t blame you, I like guys too”_. I was so nervous for nothing. My dad even told me that it was okay and he’s fine with it as long as I’m happy, he just didn’t want to hear the details.”

“Your mom is iconic.”

\--

Tooru Oikawa was not someone who could hide in a crowd. You could always pick him out of everyone, always spot him through the human traffic. It also helped that he was tall.

That being said, you found him instantly.

He wanted to meet at a park, as he was watching his nephew and his older brother was at work. You joined, of course, and you always found his nephew adorable. 

You sat on the bench next to him. The very first time you have ever felt uncomfortable enough to sit further away from him. He noticed.

“We almost kissed.” He finally said, eyes following his nephew on the playset. He seemed tense, back straight and hands clasped together.

“Yeah.” You twisted your fingers in your lap. “Almost.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” You were forgiven weeks ago.

“I do, though.” Oikawa finally looked at you. “I almost kissed you when I just became official with Sana the night before. I shouldn’t have done that. And I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t upset about you almost kissing me.” You told him, staring at him. “I was never mad at that. It’s you ignoring me and avoiding me like the plague that I don’t particularly enjoy.”

“Right.” He bit the inside of his mouth. “I just…I couldn’t really…I felt really guilty. Having enough feelings to kiss you, but standing hand in hand with Sana. I haven’t told her about it.”

“I haven’t either.”

“Yeah, you two are close.”

“She’s very nice, and good company.” You told him. “You chose a good one.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

He blinked a couple of times, like his eyes would fix what he heard. “What are you apologizing for?”

“Everything. Me and Iwa talked some shit about you.”

“I’m not surprised, I’ve been acting like a dick.”

“Ah, we prefer the word _asshole_.”

You both chuckled, and you ducked your head. His eyes were back on his nephew, who waved at you both from the top of the castle.

“Listen, I’m not going to push you to be my friend again.” You said. “If I make you uncomfortable or makes you question your relationship, I’m not going to be mad at you.”

“Be your friend again.” He mumbled, shaking his head like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “I never considered us not being friends. And you would never make me uncomfortable, ever. I just…”

“I know.” You stood up. His eyes jumped to you, head tilting up. “Let me know when you figure out whatever you need to figure out. Until then, I’m still right next door and a drunk call away.”

His mouth gaped as if you offended him, but there was a smile behind it. “God damn it, nut, just delete the voicemail!”

“No, I think I’ll keep it.” You brought your phone out and played it. His drunken slur came over the speakers. “ _Nut! Hello love. Hi!_ ” you mocked him as his voice played.

Oikawa stood up, face red. “Oh my god! Stop! That’s so embarrassing!”

He chased you as you continued to mimic him over the voicemail. You didn’t know every word, of course, but you knew when he was going to say certain things. You laughed as he chased you onto the playground.

“Takeru! Help!” you called, holding the phone up so Oikawa couldn’t get it.

“No, Takeru!” he called for his nephew. “Give me the phone, she’s a traitor!” 

“Nice try, Uncle.” Takeru grabbed your phone and shook it from his spot on the very top. “She already told me that you were the spy for the English. We must take you to jail! Thank you, Auntie, for the valuable information. We will promote you to Head Knight.”

You giggled at Oikawa’s surprised and embarrassed face. You mouthed “ _Head Knight_ ” at him, pointing at yourself. He rolled his eyes, but kept smiling at you.

\--

You wore Kuroo’s hoodie the next time you met up with him. A fun fact about Kuroo: the man loves coffee. So, you weren’t surprised when he asked to meet at a coffee shop around the corner from where you buy alcohol. You wonder what he would say if you told him about buying shit from there.

“Damn, that hoodie looks familiar.” He told you when you sat across from him.

“Yeah, it’s pretty comfy.” You said, smiling. “A pretty cool dude let me borrow it.”

“Ah, he let you _keep_ it.” He corrected, hands already around a warm cup of black coffee.

You raised a brow. “I guess I’ll keep it then.”

\--

“So…” Sana threw a piece of candy into the air to catch in her mouth. “You and Kuroo?”

This time, it was Iwaizumi and Sana at your house. Your two best friends. It was a strange combo, to you, as you always separated them in your head. But they actually got along quite easily, immediately started to roast and complain about Oikawa. 

The three of you were in your bedroom. You sat on your bed, Iwaizumi on the floor by the door, and Sana sat in your desk chair. You were playing a game: try to catch the candy in your mouth. So far, Iwaizumi was winning (he hadn’t missed a single one, even if your throws were trash).

“What about me and Kuroo?”

“Oh, come on,” Sana scoffed, shaking her head. “You have been spending a lot of time with him. Spill.”

“There’s nothing to spill.” You caught a piece she threw up for you. As you chewed, “We’re very good friends. He’s cool.”

“Alright that’s it. Who is it?”

“Who is what?” you blinked.

“The other boy.”

You gulped, looking quickly at Iwaizumi. He just looked at you, wide eyed and confused. 

“You told me that you’ve had a thing for another boy for a long time but he doesn’t feel the same.” Sana continued, her attention fully on you. “And he’s obviously the reason that you’re not going for Kuroo. You’re in love with someone else, and you’re throwing away a perfectly good relationship with someone who actually _likes_ you.” She leaned forward. “So, I’ll ask again. Who is the boy?”

You didn’t say anything, your silence the only answer you could give. Iwaizumi’s eyes went back and forth between you two, staying just as silent.

“Who is it?” Sana asked again, held tilted. When you looked at the floor, it was like a rush of realization dawned on her. The air turned tense, but not negative. Like you couldn’t breathe. "Who..."

“ _Oh._ ”


	7. screamed insecurities

“ _Oh._ ”

You couldn’t look at her. How could you? You felt her eyes stare into your head, but you focused all of your attention onto your hands as though they would help you escape the most awkward conversation you’ve ever had.

“You’re in love with Tooru.” Sana said, as a statement rather than question. You didn’t move, frozen. “Oh my god, and I’ve been a total bitch! I asked you on a double date… oh! Oh no, I totally just said he doesn’t like you back…”

“You’re not wrong.” You let out a small (and very emotionless) chuckle. You finally looked up at her.

“Seriously I cannot believe you are letting me be your friend when I’m dating the man you’ve been seriously in love with. What does that make me?”

“A girl who’s dating a guy who likes her back.” You told her.

The thing was, you weren’t mad at Sana. You never had an ill thought toward her. Yet, Sana was so guilty about something she (1) couldn’t control, and (2) had no idea about. You wanted to hate her, yes, but you didn’t. And Oikawa was your best friend.

“Sana, stop.” You cut her off in the middle of another rant as Sana continued about how mad she would’ve been and asking you again why you didn’t tell her about your love for the boy. “Sana! I don’t care! Truly. I told you when we first met that you had my full approval. Oikawa likes you, and I like you, and I seriously would’ve rather died than have this conversation.”

Sana gave you a look, then looked at Iwaizumi, and then back to you.

“How long have you been in love with him?”

You faked a smile. “That seems to be the question of the decade, huh?”

\--

Tooru Oikawa showed up at your house for the first time in what seemed like forever. It was after the other two had left, and you were just lounging around (and just got off of facetime with Kuroo, which is beside the point).

“Hi.” He smiled as you swung the door open. “Please tell me that I can stay the night.”

You smiled, instantly forgetting about anything else. Because Oikawa was back to being the Oikawa you knew, and he was standing in front of you asking to stay the night.

“You can stay the night.”

\--

You remember the very first time that Oikawa had slept in your bed with you. As kids, it never really counted, and your parents did their best to make sure the both of you slept in either separate beds or on blankets on the floor.

But, one night, Oikawa had showed up in the middle of the night. You were both still kids, basically right before puberty. He was soaking wet from rain. 

“Oikawa?” You turned your head. He grew a lot that summer. “What are you doing here?”

“I hate the lightning.” He admitted, stepping in and taking his (very wet) shoes. “Can I sleep here? My brother keeps teasing me.”

“Of course! O.M.G! We can have a sleepover. I have chocolate in my room.” 

He followed you up the stares, the both of you giggling and ready to stay up the entire night. You both lied, though, as you fell asleep before midnight. You woke up in his arms.

\--

Sana was still your friend, you assumed. After she left, she never told you that she wanted time or space or anything of the sort. You figured that you’ve held your feelings down for this long and she noticed and it didn’t bother her.

It would’ve bothered you if you found out a friend was in love with your boyfriend.

Still, you were surprised when Sana linked her arm with yours at school. She still sent you her shining smile, waited for you before class, and talked nonsense.

“Sana, I’m confused.” You told her. She was grabbing her books out of her locker and you were standing beside her. She didn’t speak, so you continued. “I… I’m in love with your boyfriend. And you’re… you seem to be okay with the whole thing.”

“You’ve been in love with him for longer than I’ve known him.” Sana turned to you, the most serious you have ever witnessed from her. “Who am I to be mad about that? And I like our friendship, even if it did start with him.”

“You… you’re probably the coolest person ever. Actually.”

“I try to be.” Sana shut her locker, finally giving you a smile. “I’m not one to be jealous, but if this becomes some kind of kdrama I might have to use your weaknesses against you.”

“I can agree to that.”

\--

You ate in the cafeteria for the first time in a long time. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa sat to the right of you at the circle tables, and Oikawa on your left. It felt normal. The only thing was, Sana was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Sana?” You asked Oikawa after a little bit, to which he shrugged.

“I don’t know. She said that she had something to do.”

You looked at Iwaizumi, as if he always had the answers you searched for, but he only gave you a confused look. _Hm_.

\--

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

You and Oikawa stood in the hallway, arm’s length away and walking in opposite directions. It was after lunch and before class, the perfect time to have an awkward conversation.

“You never stopped wearing my jersey. I saw you in it last game.” He said, sending you his priceless smile.

“I plan on wearing it again tonight. If that’s okay.”

“It’s always okay.” He kept smiling, but you could see it was a little more forced than usual. “I shouldn’t have ever asked you for it.”

“If you start to apologize again, I will punch you in the face. In front of everyone here.” You told him.

His hands came out of his pockets, reaching to you. “Deal. Oh! By the way, your tie is crooked.”

You gasped, looking to your chest, only to find your tie in perfect condition.

“Make you look.”

“You child!” You laughed, smacking his arm. He laughed too, sticking his tongue out at you.

\--

Suzuki Sana had been dating Tooru Oikawa, officially, for a month. She liked it, for the most part. He adored her, truly, and made her laugh more than ever. He also happened to be a good kisser, something she would never admit.

The only thing was, she felt way closer to you than she did with Oikawa. Not in the same ways, of course, but it was true. She wasn’t expecting to be such close friends with you so quickly.

Sana tried her best not to be jealous, or upset, about you being in love with Oikawa. But it was hard. She was a lot of things but a jealous girlfriend was not one of them. Until she watched you and Oikawa talk.

It was just a small conversation between you and him, a short one in the hallway after lunch, but it was like a spotlight shone directly on the two of you and made everyone else disappear. She could almost _see_ the love dripping off of your face when you smiled at something he said to you. And she definitely didn’t miss the way Oikawa looked at you with stars in his eyes.

So, yeah. That’s when something changed and Sana knew what to do.

\--

There was only one fight between Tooru Oikawa and you that resulted in multiple days of no speaking. And it was your fault. It was something stupid, but it was important.

When you were young (probably around nine or ten), you had accidentally ripped Oikawa’s permission form to go to a volleyball summer camp. It was only a couple of weeks during the summer where he would be away, and they needed to turn in the paper by mail.

Oikawa was mad at you for two full days. He yelled at you, thought that you ripped it on purpose because you didn’t want him to go. You didn’t want him to go, of course, but the rip was on accident.

He apologized on the third day. And spent the rest of the summer forcing you to play volleyball with him. By the end, you still didn’t completely understand the sport.

\--

You have known Oikawa your entire life, your parents being best friends since their high school days. It wasn’t unusual for your parents to have dinner together and leave “the children” (you) to hang out while they’re away.

It was one of those nights, and Oikawa was trying to convince you to throw some serves for him in the backyard. You sat on the porch, next to Oikawa’s older brother, refusing to do so.

“So, I hear you have been dating someone lately.” Oikawa’s brother turned to you, a mischievous smile plastered on his face. Oikawa froze from his position, ball in hand. You didn’t notice. “Tell me the details.”

“I… I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You told him, face flushed.

“Ah! You’re so flustered right now!” He teased you. “Who is he?”

“No one. I’m not dating anyone.” You crossed your arms. You looked at Oikawa, trying to gauge his reaction. He had his back turned to you.

Oikawa’s brother noticed your focus, and you swore his grin got wider. “I see. You’re not over it.”

“Not over it.” You replied, both of you sharing a secret as old as time.

\--

Tetsurou Kuroo had facetimed you one day after school, before one of Seijoh’s games. It was a filler game, one that didn’t count towards championships, but you were excited to go to a game when everything was back to normal.

“Hello, jersey.” He greeted through the phone. He was laying in bed, one arm under his head. You had a very thirsty thought, but you will keep that to yourself. You didn’t like Kuroo that way.

“Hello, hair.” You joked back, pointing out his hair (which was flat and on his face and not done per usual).

“Why are you still at school? The game doesn’t start for like half an hour.”

“I forgot something in my locker.” You told him, turning the corner towards your locker. “And my mom dropped me off before going to run some errands, so I’m here early.”

Kuroo talked to you for a minute about something volleyball related, and then something about something else you couldn’t remember, before you ended up at your locker.

The lockers were a bit shorter than the ceiling, so there was a space between the top of the locker. Right above yours was a blue athletic water bottle with an “O” on it. You chuckled, rolling your eyes, reaching up to grab it (using a shelf in your locker after not being able to reach).

“Hey, Kuroo, do you mind if I call you back later?”

“Yeah, cool. Talk to you later?”

You smiled at him from your camera. “I’ll probably text you during the game.”

He smiled and waved you goodbye. You clicked the end button as you twirled the full water bottle in your hand.

\--

You walked into the gym, towards the boys who collected around the chairs by the coach. The minute you seen the back of Oikawa’s head, you knew that he wasn’t the happiest.

It was like the cheerful Oikawa from earlier had vanished.

“Hey, ‘Kawa…” you started, but before you could get any closer or say anything else, he pivoted.

His eyes met yours, and he was livid. The air was immediately tense.

“Dude can you _fucking_ leave me alone for _one_ minute?” Oikawa deadpanned. He was angry, his voice loud enough to cause most of the crowd to go silent to listen in. You froze in place. “Seriously, get off the court and let me play this _fucking game_ without worrying about you. You know Sana broke up with me because of you? Did you know that? You _always_ have to have some kind of interference for _literally everything_ good happening in my life. Why don’t you go? Leave me be? You don’t even fucking like volleyball.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and your voice caught in your throat. You couldn’t move. You blinked.

“ _God_ , it’s so fucking annoying. I get it, you’re in love with me or whatever, but _jesus christ_ dude find someone else to follow. ”

You swallowed. Not only did your heart shatter, but he also pointed every insecurity you had. Annoying him, being a bother… You couldn’t breathe. He knew. _Of course he knew_. How could he not know?

“Yeah, okay.” Your voice was small, and you were surprised that it didn’t waver. You held the waterbottle to him, hands shaking. “I was just bringing you your water bottle. You left it on top of my locker.”

You placed the water bottle on the ground next to the coach before walking out of the gym doors, and then sprinting down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um.. yeah.. haha


	8. i thought i was, too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey loves! i am posting this because i will be offline for a bit!
> 
> i apologize in advance for this one! <3

You couldn’t breathe. You had one hand on your chest as you gasped for air as if it didn’t exist and you were drowning.

Iwaizumi found you first, followed closely by Sana.

You were collapsed against the wall, on the ground with tears streaming down your face. Iwaizumi squatted beside you, grabbing the hand that wasn’t clutching your chest. Sana rushed to sit beside you and patted your head.

“Hey, breathe.” Sana reassured. “That’s it, in and out. There you go.”

You followed her instructions, following when she would tell you to breathe. You were breathing but you felt dead.

“I…” You finally started to say, choking on tears. You looked at Iwaizumi at your waist. “He just did that in front of the entire school.”

“I know.”

“I never got to tell him.” You started to cry again, nothing stopping you. “I never got to tell him. He just knew. He just knew and did nothing about it and told the _entire fucking school_. I never got to tell him myself…” You choked on another sob.

“I know.” Iwaizumi was on the floor now, moving to sit on the other side of you.

\--

Hajime Iwaizumi never really let anger get the better of him. He was very good at hiding his irritation, just changed it into encouragement and different criticisms. But, the moment he seen your face fall and every emotion wipe from you, he wanted to kick Oikawa in the face.

The second the gym doors closed behind you, Iwaizumi scoffed. Oikawa turned around, the regret evident on his face, but Iwaizumi only seen red.

“You know,” Iwaizumi glared at his friend, eye twitching and arms crossed. “That one. That one might’ve done it.”

“I..”

“Don’t.” Iwaizumi turned to the coach, ready to be on his hands and knees to beg to go after you.

“Go. As long as you’re back by halftime.”

Iwaizumi nodded at his coach, sent Oikawa another glare, and rushed out after you.

\--

Your first kiss ever had been with Hajime Iwaizumi. Not that it mattered, or necessarily counted, but it was.

You remember wanting to kiss Oikawa that night. You wanted the bottle to land on him during a random game of spin the bottle, you wanted to see if those internalized feelings were true and hopefully get something out of it.

It never ended up happening. And Iwaizumi liked to bring it up sometimes, since he got to kiss every single person in the room.

It was just a small kiss. You didn’t care, it was your first.

Oikawa got to kiss almost everyone else. Other than you.

\--

“I texted Kuroo.” Iwaizumi told you once he finally got you to your feet. You had stopped sobbing, but tears still ran down your red cheeks. You didn’t question how the man got Kuroo’s number. “He’s here to pick you up.”

You let him lead you out of the school and to Kuroo, who was waiting outside in his car.

“Thank you.” You told him. You turned, still blurry eyed, to Sana. “You didn’t have to break up with him.”

“I did.” She put her hands on your cheeks and wiped more tears away. “I have never even felt a fraction of the love you have for him.”

You gave her a small smile before getting into Kuroo’s car.

Tetsurou Kuroo was in sweats and a hoodie, your favorite, and his hair was messy. He definitely dropped everything to come get you.

“Buckle up.”

\--

For the rest of the game, Iwaizumi played harder than he had ever played before. He was fuming, but played the game nonetheless.

It was during a timeout that Oikawa said, “Don’t make any dumb mistakes out there! They’re too close for comfort.”

To which Iwaizumi replied, “You’re the one to talk about dumb mistakes.”

\--

“Do you want me to go punch him in the face for you?” Kuroo asked you from the driver’s seat. “Because I will totally punch him in the face for you.”

You didn’t move from your scrunched-up position, staring out the window. “You don’t have to do that. I just want to wallow in self pity and maybe cry some more.”

“Well we’re not doing that.” He took one hand off of the counsel to pat your thigh. “I have an idea.”

\--

The game ended, another win for Oikawa’s team. They were cheering and laughing, happy for another win. The events from earlier had nearly left their minds.

Nearly.

Tooru Oikawa was guilty. He had never once let himself get mad at you like that, let alone let his anger out on you. In front of a crowd.

He was in the middle of praising Hanamaki for a play when he was cut short. He nearly froze on the spot, mid-sentence.

Next to Oikawa’s bag was his water bottle. Along with his jersey, _your_ jersey, neatly folded on top.

\--

Kuroo had parked his car on the top of some hill. It was beautiful, the city lights twinkling in the distance and purple hues casting over it all as the sun set.

You stopped by the usual coffee shop, both of you getting a hot chocolate, and stared at the city below. It felt like a movie scene.

“I come here when I don’t feel the best.” He told you, hands around the to go mug. “I felt like you would like it.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I think it was really strong of you to give him back his jersey. I know it meant a lot.”

“I didn’t actually see him.” You stared at your drink. “I just put it in the locker room.”

“Still. It’s a power move.” He paused. “You could have told me about being in love with the volleyball captain, you know.” Kuroo said to you, eyes never leaving the city. “We’re friends.”

“I know.”

He finally turned to look at you, and you looked back at him. “We’re friends before all else, right?”

“Friends before all else.”

His hand reached for yours, and you interlocked your fingers with his.

“We should leave him a very angry voicemail.” Kuroo said. He meant it as a joke, but you actually considered it.

“That’s actually a good idea.”

\--

“I’m not walking with you.” Iwaizumi told Oikawa as they exited the gym.

“Iwa! Please wait a second!”

“No, dude.” Iwaizumi turned. Flames might as well have been burning out of his ears. “I don’t give a fuck about whatever you want to talk about! _I’m an asshole, I shouldn’t have done that, I feel so bad_. Whatever you want to say, I don’t care.”

Oikawa blanked. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Ha. Right.”

Iwaizumi gave him a shrug. He turned to leave. Oikawa grabbed his arm.

“You have to help me. Please.” Oikawa was panicking. “I’ve never done anything like that.”

“Have you ever thought of anyone other than yourself?” Iwaizumi asked him. “Ever?”

“I…”

“Actually, how’s this for help: leave her the fuck alone. You literally just broke her heart in front of the entire school. Have you considered the fact that she never got to _tell_ you that she was in love with you? That she never got to tell you the way she wanted to? Or the fact she cried because of you?”

“...She cried?”

“Of course she fucking cried!” Iwaizumi scoffed. “What do you think I was doing in the hallway? Passing by time?”

“I…” Oikawa’s voice was significantly smaller. “I’m… I have to talk to her.”

“If you want to talk to her you probably shouldn’t have yelled at her the way you did.”

\--

Kuroo ended up bringing you home late. Most of the night had consisted of sitting in silence, sipping from the hot drinks until they were no longer hot. You tried not to cry a lot, but Kuroo let you cry on his shoulder.

Your mom was in the kitchen when you walked in. She was about to ask you about your whereabouts when you rushed into her arms. She immediately hugged you, rubbing circles into your back.

“Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Everything, mom.” You pulled her tighter to you. You let more tears escape. “Everything.”

\--

“ _Hey Oikawa._ ” He listened to your voicemail. You were very obviously crying, but that wasn’t the thing he paid the most attention to. You had never called him _Oikawa_. Never. It was always _'Kawa._

“ _You’re a piece of shit, you know that?_ ” Your voice continued over his speaker. “ _You go on and on about humility and working as a team and how you always want to be the best person for everyone. But you’re an asshole. You never think of anyone but yourself._ ”

“ _It is not my fault Sana broke up with you. It is not my fault that I have feelings for you. And it is not my fault you decided that the best way to take your anger out is to scream at me in front of the whole fucking school and team and visiting team and their families. That’s all on you. And I’m over being ignored and pushed to the sidelines and being treated like shit._ ”

“ _I guess all good things gotta come to an end, right?_ ” You finished.

It was Oikawa’s turn to cry.

He had to talk to you.

\--

You didn’t show up to school for the rest of the week. Oikawa would always wait at his locker for longer than he should, he would wander around your classes, and checked the library at lunch.

You weren’t there.

Students whispered, rumors started. Some people actually thought you had died of heartbreak. Oikawa wanted to fall into a ditch. For once, the attention wasn’t positive towards him.

“You know, Tooru,” Sana stopped him on Friday. “When I broke up with you, I never told you that she was in love with you. I told you that _you_ were in love with _her_. And screaming about her feelings in front of the entire school does nothing to change your feelings towards her.”

She patted his arm and moved around him.

He really had to talk to you.

\--

You were locked in your room when he arrived at your house. Your parents were leaving, bidding you a goodbye as they were going to eat.

“Good luck. She hasn’t left his room in days.” Your mom told him.

He rushed up the stairs and knocked on your door. No answer. He knocked again, probably agitating you beyond belief as you thought it was your family trying to get you to come eat again.

A shuffle as he knocked again. The door swung open, nearly causing him to jump in surprise, as your voice said “For the last time, I’m not…”

You stopped yourself. The moment that your eyes landed on him, his voice got stuck in his throat. You looked the same as always, but to him you looked brighter. As though a halo of yellow light shone around your body. He didn’t know what to say. His heart sank, beating rapidly against his chest.

You stared up at him. Before you could say anything, his arms pulled you into an embrace you weren’t expecting. His arms wrapped around your head and back, his head resting on your shoulder. You couldn’t even hug him back, your arms trapped by his.

You wanted to scream at him, wanted to let him have it and tell him you were pissed off. You wanted to yell at him the way he did you. You wanted to make him feel your heartache. But the minute you felt his chest rise against your cheek, you melted. _Why did you have to be in love with him?_

“’Kawa…” you started, but you were quickly silenced.

“You’re calling me ‘Kawa again.” He said into your neck, voice muffled and laced with sadness. “I’m so sorry. _Oh my god_ , I’m so sorry.”

“’Kawa,” You moved back so you could connect your eyes to his. He stared back, eyes brimmed with tears. He looked awful, probably the same as you did.

He didn’t say anything, just watched you. He was scared, you could see it in his eyes. You didn’t know if he was scared of what you’re going to say, or what the promise would be, or if you would reject him. But you continued.

“You can’t…”

You couldn’t finish your sentence before he was pulling you into another hug, your face against his chest once more.

“I promise, I swear I promise I will never do that ever again. I regret it so much, yelling at you and treating you the way I did.” his hand tightened around your waist.

You didn’t move your arms as you let him hug you. In fact, you were completely frozen in place. “I’m going to need time.”

He nodded frantically into your neck, agreeing wholeheartedly.

You finally wrapped your arms around him, and he sighed in relief and melted into your body.

“I love you.” He said. “I feel like the biggest idiot ever, and I..”

You leaned back, staring into his eyes. You tried to find a hint of a lie, or to see if he was saying what you thought he was. To see if he was just saying what he thinks you needed to hear. Your hands intertwined with his, fingers laced together as they were meant to be. “What did you say?”

“I love you.” He said, eyes never leaving yours.

“Say it again.”

He said your full name. “I’m in love with you.”

He reached down to place a kiss on your lips. It was a small one, barely a second, and both of your lips were chapped, but it held every emotion you could possibly imagine. It took only a millisecond for you to kiss him back, as though it was second nature and you had kissed him a million times before.

You pulled away, pushing away to put him at arm’s length (or, rather, yourself at arm’s length).

“I thought I was in love with you, too.” You said, finally.

You stepped back, closing your bedroom door. He stood, stoic, arms at his sides, until the very last moment. You collapsed on the floor, back sliding against the door. You clutched your chest for what seemed like the hundredth time since the game.


	9. apologies don’t always work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a little bit of time to be online so here's a (rather short) little filler chapter!

You skipped school for a week. It was a full week of heartache; most of which included the following: watching new shows (and finishing them), being brought food by your very understanding mother, crying, taking very long baths, wallowing in self-pity (which is something you tried not to do, but ended up doing anyway), crying until you were dehydrated, and ignoring texts and calls.

A new week was starting when your mom walked into your room, interrupting your daily “stare at the ceiling in sadness”. She sat on the end of your bed by your feet when she said, “It’s time for you to return to life.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Sweetheart, I get it.” She placed a hand on your ankle, trying to pull your attention to her. You kept your eyes on the ceiling. “Trust me, I do. But you can’t continue to isolate yourself from life. You have a beautiful, bright future in front of you. Exams are coming up, and your friends miss you.”

You sighed. “I guess I’ll go.”

“Good! Quite frankly, I’m tired of lying to your friends. Did you know that Iwaizumi resorted to texting me every day?” Your mom stood up, sending you a smile when you followed suit. “Clean your room. I’ll drive you to school tomorrow.”

You agreed, staring at the empty water bottles next to your bed.

\--

Out of the hundreds of texts and missed calls, you decided to text Iwaizumi back first. He was the one who you’ve known the longest (other than the other boy you shall not name) and had helped you through your Love Problems.

you: hey. i’m ok. pls tell me that you’ll be at school tomorrow

 **iwa <3**: fuck dude  
**iwa <3**: you scared the shit out of me i deadass texted your fucking mom  
**iwa <3**: i will be at school tomorrow the question is will you

 **you** : yeah i’m coming. didn’t wanna be alone

 **iwa <3**: you’ll never be alone darling

\--

Despite everything telling you not to, you got up that Monday morning for school. You cleaned your room, you showered, you got a good night’s rest. You even ate breakfast. Yet, you still felt like… well, shit.

Your mother drove you to school, sending you a small smile and wave of encouragement like it was your first day of kindergarten and you were scared to go in. Truth was, you wanted to throw up all over the front doors and go straight back into your bedroom and watch another Gordon Ramsay compilation on youtube.

You sighed and went into Hell (hell being school). You tried to act as normal as possible but it was evident that everyone in the entire school hadn’t moved on from the whole thing, eyes staring at you and inaudible whispers.

“ _Great_.” You mumbled to yourself, whipping your locker open.

It was at that moment that Tooru Oikawa made his appearance. He was walking next to Hanamaki, talking among themselves, when Oikawa stopped dead in his tracks. Hanamaki gave him a small pat on his back before leaving (and effectively leaving the awkward situation that would inevitably happen). 

He opened his locker beside you.

“Hi!” He greeted, as though it was the most normal and casual thing ever. “You’re feeling better? Your mom said that…”

You didn’t acknowledge him, closing your locker and walking to class. Maybe you’ll find Iwaizumi before class…

“Whoa. Wait!” Oikawa was walking beside you then, easily catching up to you. “Did you get any of my texts?”

You spun on your heels, finally facing him after a week of being MIA and trying to forget your love for him. He swallowed and stared back at you.

“I don’t know what you want me to do.” You shrugged. “I told you that I needed time. And by that, I mean I need time away from you specifically. I’m not going to entertain the idea of pretending that nothing happened between us because it did.”

Oikawa blinked, nodding. “Okay, okay. Yes.” He purposefully took a step back, literally giving you space. “But can I ask one thing? Just one?”

“Go ahead.”

“For how long?” He asked. “How long do you think it’ll take for you to talk to me again?”

“I don’t know. Maybe when the school stops staring at me like a wounded puppy.”

\--

“I’ve missed you!” Sana brought you into a hug, her boobs straight into your face. “I seriously thought that you dropped off of the face of the earth.”

You let a small smile creep onto your lips. The first smile in a while. “Sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize. What even happened?”

“That’s a story for later.”

She linked her arm with yours before walking with you to the library. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa sat at the usual table, heads in books like their life depended on it. It wasn’t until you were nearly next to them that they realized you were there. You hadn’t been able to see Iwaizumi all day.

“ _Oh my god_ , she’s really here.” Matsukawa exclaimed, a bit too loud for a library. 

Iwaizumi got up from his seat (also very loudly, a squeak from the chair on the floor). He immediately pulled you into a hug, picking you up and putting his head into your shoulder.

“Shittykawa told me what happened.” He mumbled into your neck. You bit the inside of your lip and wrapped your arms around his waist. “I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, but I do want you to know that I know.”

“You always know.” You mumbled back.

\--

Hajime Iwaizumi was walking with Issei Matsukawa when he caught Oikawa leaving your house. He knew immediately that something had happened, that something wasn’t quite right, because Oikawa had his head down. He never had his head down.

Iwaizumi turned to his boyfriend, telling him “I’ll be right back.” Matsukawa gave him a kiss on the wrist before letting him run off.

“Hey man,” Iwaizumi jogged to his best friend. Oikawa stopped, head still at his feet. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi stood in front of him, cutting him off. “Don’t bullshit me. What’s going on? What happened?”

When Oikawa didn’t answer, Iwaizumi put his arms on his shoulders to bring his head up. Oikawa was red-faced, tears running down his cheeks. He was in pain.

“I, um.” Oikawa looked back and forth, never really meeting Iwaizumi’s eyes. “I told her that I’m in love with her. We kissed and I told her that I love her.”

“Oh?” _That’s a good thing… right?_

“She shut the door in my face. She said that she “thought that she was in love with me too”. And just shut the door.”

“Oh.”

\--

“What if we got married?” Oikawa once asked you, a giggling child in the morning sun. 

You both laid in your backyard, the grass long and bugs flew along your heads. You didn’t care. You giggled back to him.

“That’s gross! You have cooties!”

“Not if we’re married I don’t!” Oikawa stuck his tongue out at you.

“We’re too young to get married! We have to at least be old… like 20 years old!”

“Ew!”

You laid like that, giggling and laughing as kids, until your mom called you in for lunch. Oikawa ran to the door (“last one there is a rotten egg!”).

\--

 **tetsurou kuroo :P** : i heard that you've finally left the darkness and stepped back into regular life  
**tetsurou kuroo :P** : hajime texted me sorry if that sounded like i'm stalking you.  
**tetsurou kuroo :P** : unless you're into that.. then i'm totally stalking you...  
**tetsurou kuroo :P** : PLS I'M KIDDING anyway can i come over today. i have another hoodie for you.

 **you** : you're cute. i miss you too.

\--

You walked home alone that night. After a while of isolation, human interaction actually seemed like a chore. You just wanted to be alone, even if it was just for a few minutes as you walk.

You heard walking behind you.

“You can walk next to me.” You said, knowing exactly who it was. “I know you don’t have practice on Mondays.”

Tooru Oikawa appeared next to you in only a few seconds, jumping at the offer. The roles were reversed now.

“I don’t want to overstep boundaries.” He said.

“I know.”

“I’m sorry, again. For kissing you.”

“I know.”

He stared at you instead of the sidewalk ahead. You kept your eyes on the sky.

“I’m sorry for telling you that I love you, too.”

“Don’t be sorry about that.” You stepped onto your porch where Kuroo stood, waiting for you. “That was the one thing you did right.”


	10. old habits die hard

Tooru Oikawa didn’t get jealous. One of the various traits that he gained by not having any serious relationships (and simply because he was _awesome_ ). However, he had a terrible feeling in his gut the minute he watched you meet another guy on your porch.

“You must be Oikawa.” The man said from his position beside you. You mumbled something, but Oikawa couldn’t hear.

“That is me. And you are…?”

“Kuroo.” The man didn’t move from the porch, hands in his jacket pockets and smirk-like smile plastered on his face. Oikawa expected him to come down, shake his hand as an introduction. Instead, Kuroo just gave a slight nod of his head. “See ya later.”

And with that, you scooped Kuroo into your house. Oikawa saw red.

\--

“I told you that you didn’t have to talk to him.” You told Kuroo, scrolling on the TV to find a good movie to watch. 

“I wanted to see how he’d react.” He shrugged and chuckled a little to himself. “He got _jealous_.”

“He did not.”

“He did too.”

“Oikawa doesn’t get jealous. He was probably just confused, since he’s never met you before.”

“Babe, he was just jealous. That face he made? Jealousy.”

“Ew don’t call me babe.”

“You don’t like it?”

You paused. “Just… don’t call me babe.”

“You _do_ like it!”

\--

You used to watch movies with Oikawa every Saturday. It was a tradition for as long as you could remember. But since the silence between you both, it hadn’t happened. Instead, Kuroo had decided to take over and watch movies with you.

He always let you pick the movie.

\--

Hajime Iwaizumi wanted you to marry Tooru Oikawa. It was a secret of course, he would never tell either of you. And maybe it was because he wanted to be the best man, or maybe it was because he had watched you both pine over each other his entire life, but he did. He wanted you both to just confess, get the emotions out, and just be in love.

God, he hated being the _best friend_ sometimes.

He sat and watched as Oikawa stared directly at you while practicing. You were waiting for Iwaizumi, a promised dinner in order, and decided to just wait in the gym. It wouldn’t be the first time you waited in the practice gym while they finished up.

“Hey, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi threw a ball at his friend. “How hard are you going to stare at her?”

“Hm?”

He threw another ball. It may have been a little bit harder that time.

\--

Tooru Oikawa didn’t get jealous. So, why, he wondered, was he jealous when he watched you eat with Kuroo.

You even wore his hoodie.

Oikawa sat with the volleyball team, a team dinner for “bonding” as coach had claimed. They were in the corner, and you were sitting by the window. Unexpected.

You had Kuroo’s hoodie on.

“Staring again.” Iwaizumi muttered to him. Oikawa didn’t listen.

A laugh between you and Kuroo. Your hand on his. Kuroo had called you “babe”.

_Why did you have Kuroo’s hoodie on?_

\--

“Stop calling me that!” you giggled, pushing his arm as he continued to call you “babe”.

“I can’t! Not when it makes you blush that hard.”

\--

You haven’t gone to a volleyball game in weeks. It was another kink in your normal routine, your normal schedule.

It felt weird to go without the jersey.

So, during their latest game, instead of being at the game, you were sitting at Sana’s. You let her do your makeup, you took pictures of her products she used on the daily. It was just a lot of Girly Things, something you definitely were not used to.

“You can date him, you know.” Sana said as she fixed some of your makeup that got messed up when you laughed earlier. “Tooru, I mean. I don’t mind.”

“I…”

“Just. I want you to know that you can date him despite us being friends now.” She continued, looking over your face. “I don’t want me dating him holding you back.” She paused, only for a moment. “Oh! Or is it Kuroo that’s holding you back?”

You bit the inside of your mouth. “I don’t think it’s Kuroo.”

“Then what is?”

“Me.”

\--

“Are you and Kuroo…together?” Oikawa asked you.

You two had a new theme after school. On Mondays, Oikawa would walk beside you in silence on your way home. He was waiting for you to make a move first, waiting to see when you would talk to him and be his go to again.

“I… what?” You gaped. “No. We’re not. Why would you…”

“I heard him call you “babe”. I just wanted to ask.”

“’Kawa.” You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, turning to face him. His chest almost collided directly into your face. He waited for you to continue. “I’m telling you right now that I am not dating anyone, or planning to date anyone for that matter.” You looked between his eyes, back and forth. “Kuroo was the one who picked me up from the school after you yelled at me in the gym, he’s been a good friend.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You apologize too much.”

“I don’t think I’ve apologized enough.”

“Can I ask you something?” you haven’t moved, not yet.

“Yes, of course. Anything.”

“How did you know?” You asked. A question that had been burned into your skull. “How did you know that I was in love with you?”

Oikawa chuckled. “Was.”

“Hm?”

“You just said, “I _was_ in love with you”. Was.”

You shook your head. “Do you want me to say it?”

“Say what?”

“Oh, nice try.” You rolled your eyes, and he smiled. You knew he was messing with you the minute he brought it up. “Seriously, how did you know?”

“I…I don’t know. I kind of figured after Sana broke up with me, and I was pissed off to I just let out all the accusations I could.” He was no longer looking at you. “I’m sorry.”

“There you go apologizing again.” You started to walk again. He followed. “How about this: what do you think about Saturday movie night?”

He nearly tripped over himself. “Yes. Yes. Yes I agree.”

\--

Oikawa showed up at your house before dark. You knew that it was because he didn’t know if he would be staying over, or if it was just movie night and then you would kick him out.

Either way, your mom was surprised.

“I didn’t know you two would be back to old habits so soon?”

“Well,” you held up the glasses of alcohol you already had on hand. “Old habits die hard.”

“Don’t kill yourselves. And clean up when you’re done!”

\--

You sat a little bit further away from him than usual. He compensated by putting the popcorn bowl in the middle, trying to make it seem normal.

But, after a few drinks and some liquid courage, you shrugged. You moved the popcorn bowl to the ground and placed yourself directly beside him. His warmth was nice. Welcoming.

“Hey, ‘Kawa.”

“Hey, nut.”

He giggled, a little drunk soft giggle that made your stomach churn. He put his arm on the back of the couch, above your shoulders. You giggled back and laid your head into his side.

“More!” you cheered and drank straight out of the bottle.

\--

It was late. Too late. And, to quote what they say on How I Met Your Mother: _nothing good ever happens after 2 am._

You both were drunk. Not just tipsy, and not in a way that would even make sense. But both of you were completely gone, and you couldn’t even see what was on the TV anymore. And Oikawa’s a lightweight anyway.

“You’re cute.” you told Oikawa, a bit of a slur to your words.

“So are you.”

“You told me that you love me.” you were looking up at him, your head on his lap and his hands limp as they laid around your head. 

“I did, didn’t I?” he giggled, looking down at you.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you in love with me?”

He sent you the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. “Are you in love with me?”

Before your sane part of you told you no, and exactly when that drunk part of you said “fuck yeah it’s time”, you leaned up and kissed him.

Oikawa kissed back instantly, his lips molding into yours as perfect puzzle pieces. You moved up, straddling his hips and bringing you closer to him. He kept his hands on your outer thigh, quickly catching your lips as you kissed.

You were like this for a while, kissing and only taking breaks to smile into the kiss or to breathe. Until, finally, a little window of sobriety made you pull away.

You stayed on his lap, arms on his arms, with him looking up at you now.

“Sorry.”

“Now look who’s apologizing.” Oikawa smiled.

\--

Oikawa stayed the night, though on the couch. You went to sleep in your room.

_What the fuck just happened?_

\--

You told Iwaizumi the next morning. Like a schoolgirl who just had her very first kiss and had to run to her closest friend.

He came over so fast you swear he had superpowers.

“Why do you still love him?” was the question Iwaizumi asked you as he laid in your room. Just like old times.

To which you only had one answer. “ _Because I don’t know how not to._ ”


	11. knight in shining nekoma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one more chapter after this one! i hope you all enjoy.
> 
> there is a small part where there is a "crash", so i do want to put a small warning for that. it is nothing serious and nothing gruesome, of course. other than that, i hope you enjoy and i can't wait to post the final part! :)

You had been spending a lot of time alone, again. To sort your thoughts, to avoid seeing Oikawa for the rest of the weekend, you didn’t know. Either way, you were laying in bed and contemplating how askew your life (your love life in particular) had become.

It never was this complicated before.

In fact, it still wasn’t very complicated.

You had been in love with Tooru Oikawa for as long as you could remember. And apparently, he loved you too. The problem was, he was being a dick. And he hadn’t even realized this “love” until very recently, if the man even knew what it felt like to be in love.

The answer should be incredibly easy: tell him you love him and be together. Because at the end of the day, he was the one you wanted.

Kuroo called you just then.

“Hello, hoodie.” He greeted through the phone. “I know you said you wanted some time to yourself today, but I’m bored.”

“Hello, Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“You sound sad.”

“Oh, you know, just another midlife crisis.” You told him. You didn’t even have the phone in your hand, the device on speaker laying beside your pillow. 

“Midlife crisis? Aren’t you a bit young for those?”

“You don’t know how old I’ll be.”

He chuckled. It was short-lived, though, his tone turning serious. “Do you want to talk about it? Meet at the hill?”

“You actually want to listen to me rant about Oikawa?”

“Sure, why not? I told you that I was bored.” A movement behind the microphone. “I’m making sandwiches! Meet you there in 20.”

\--

The hill was beautiful even in the daytime. The city life hectic and full of car horns and chatter below, yet it was quiet there. When you arrived, Kuroo was waiting on a blanket with a plastic bag of sandwiches.

“Now that I have the guest of honor,” He moved over so you could join him. “Tell me everything.”

And you did. You told him about how you have loved the volleyball captain, how you were going to tell him but somehow ended up finding out your best friend was gay, how Oikawa dated Sana, how Sana is cool as hell, how Oikawa had ignored you and broke every tradition and completely threw you off, how you got humiliated by said captain and then kissed by him, how you got drunk and made out, and you even told him how you met _someone_ else who had saved you from drowning yourself multiple times, how confused you were.

Kuroo didn’t interrupt, didn’t ask questions. He just sat and listened until you were done. He gave you subtle nods of understanding during it, but that was more for your sake so you knew he was listening. 

Once you finished, Kuroo finally asked a question. 

“Okay, I think that there’s only one question I can ask.” He turned to you, eyes gleaming in the sun. “Is it really that complicated, or are you trying to make it complicated because you’re scared that actually going through with your feelings would change things even more?”

For that, you didn’t have an answer. You just stared at him, eyes staring into his as though he knew the answer you were searching for. Which he did.

“ _Kiss me_.” Kuroo said suddenly.

Your eyes widened in confusion. You spluttered, “I don’t… why would I… what..”

“It’s for science.” He said, not once moving an inch from his spot.

You scoffed. “For science.”

“If you kiss me and feel either nothing or guilty, it means you want Oikawa and I was right.” Kuroo spoke as if he was giving a presentation and not literally asking you to kiss him. “If you kiss me and you like it and I’m a better kisser than Oikawa, looks like you have obtained a new and extremely good looking boyfriend.”

“You’re ridiculous.” You didn’t move from your spot, either. “I just. I don’t want to kiss you and leave you hanging or like… lead you on? I know that…”

“Babe, I’m literally asking you to kiss me.” 

“I know but…”

“Seriously I’m not going to be mad or expect you to…”

You kissed him. You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He was sitting cross-legged, and you had put your hands on his knees to give you that extra height to reach him. It only took him a second of surprise before he kissed you back, hands immediately going into your hair and on your neck.

His lips were soft, softer than Oikawa’s. Kuroo was soft in general, his kisses small and many instead of long and passionate. His hands were hovering over your jaw when Oikawa’s were everywhere he was offered.

 _You were comparing him to Oikawa_. You were the one who pulled back.

A breath of air. Your stomach churned. 

“…So?” Kuroo asked, chest visibly showing his beating heart. “What did you think?”

“I think you’re a good kisser.” You smiled. “But…”

“ _But_ you feel bad?”

“No it’s not that.” You stayed beside him, looking at his hands in yours. You played with his fingers. “I was comparing. Like it was a competition.”

“Comparing me to Oikawa?” Kuroo nodded, thinking. He looked back to you, smile plastered on his lips. “Who’s better?”

“Don’t ask me that!” you threw his hands back into his lap.

“Oh, c’mon. I need to know.”

“Too different.” Was your only explanation.

“Can I tell my friend that you said I was better? He would literally pee himself in happiness.”

“Fine.”

\--

Suzuki Sana arrived at Oikawa’s house that day. It was a quick visit, to give him back some things and get back a couple of things she had left at his. They may not have dated for long, but they had done… a lot. Even before.

“Sorry for bringing you into all of this.” Oikawa told her.

“I’m sorry for being your first girlfriend when your first girlfriend should’ve been the girl next door.” Sana replied.

\--

The friendship between Tooru Oikawa and Hajime Iwaizumi was never complicated, at least between them. Oikawa was the flirty, arrogant, leader and Iwaizumi was the one who brought him back to earth when his head got too inflated. It had always been that way.

Even back when they were kids, just throwing around volleyballs and running around on the playground Iwaizumi was always the one.

When Iwaizumi first met him, Oikawa was standing on the playground’s monkey bars claiming to be the King of the Playground. Iwaizumi told him that he wasn’t and to let the other kids play. To which, young Oikawa replied “There is a princess in need of saving! Help me save her, Jester!”

The princess being you.

You sat in the circle tower on the playground by the slide, pretending to beg for help. Oikawa only left the monkey bars to come “save” you, bringing you down the slide with him. Iwaizumi was at his side, actually laughing when they all got stuck in the middle of the slide and having to scoot the rest of the way with their feet.

“What is your name, Jester?” Oikawa asked.

“Hajime Iwaizumi!”

“Iwa, you are now our friend!” Oikawa introduced you to him. 

That was the start of it all, for the most part. After that, the three of you were inseparable, your parents easily greeting Iwaizumi’s into their Adult Friend Group. There were play dates, birthday parties, summer trips, long volleyball tournaments, all together. They say, “two’s company, and three’s a crowd”, but the three of you made nearly a perfect unit together.

Things were different now, full of weird unsolved emotions and secrets that are no longer secrets. And Iwaizumi was so tired.

“Hey, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi said during the end of practice. They had stayed back, practicing a little more just the two of them. 

“Whoa, you called me my actual name.” Oikawa replied, grabbing the next ball from the basket. “What’s up?”

“Are you actually in love with her or did you just say that to make her feel better?” He paused. “Or to make yourself feel better?”

Oikawa froze in his spot, ball empty in his hand. His voice was the smallest Iwaizumi had ever heard it. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Because she’s been in love with you for forever, and you have never been in love before.” Iwaizumi said simply, shrugging. “I don’t want to see her hurt anymore.”

“Iwa…”

“Listen, all that I’m asking is do you actually love her?”

“Yes.” It was a fast response, quick and final. “I didn’t know it before, but I know I am now. I heard that she cried over me and I felt like digging my own grave. Whenever she smiles at me from the bleachers at the games, or when she fixes my tie, it makes me want to giggle like a little schoolgirl. I know you’re worried, I know that. But I’m trying to fix things. I’m trying to make up for a lot of lost time I didn’t even realize I was missing.”

Oikawa looked back to the ball. “She hasn’t told me herself that she’s in love with me too. I fucked things up, I took out frustration and confusion out on her that I shouldn’t have. I’m waiting for her to come to me first.”

“Okay.” Iwaizumi grabbed his own ball. “Okay, okay. I needed to know, to be sure.”

“I know.”

\--

You went on a walk with Kuroo through the city streets after the picnic. He put the empty bag and blanket into his backpack, taking your hand to help you up. It was a beautiful day.

“You should come to the tournaments this Wednesday.” Kuroo said. “Nekoma is versing Seijoh, you get to see me beat the love of your life’s ass.”

“I don’t know about that.” You joked, nudging him. “I’ll definitely be there. You can’t be mad if you see me cheering for both teams, though.”

“When she supports you.”

“Shut up.”

You walked for a bit more, taking the longest way home you could. You talked a lot, joked around and pointed out shops and restaurants to try. You even went by the Sakanoshita Store. Your favorite man wasn’t even working at the time.

It was nearly sunset when you ended at your doorstep. You suddenly had a realization that you were wearing his hoodie.

“Oh, shit.” You started to bring your arms through. “Do you want your hoodies back? Now that you…”

“Babe, nothing has changed between us.” Kuroo shoved the red back onto you. “Friends before all else. And you get to keep the hoodies. As friends.”

“Friends before all else.”

\--

As soon as you walked through the doors, your mom announced that your family would be eating BBQ with Oikawa’s as a “Family Sunday Fun Night” (her words, you cringed). Usually these dinners were planned, but sometimes your mom liked to “switch things up, keep things spontaneous” (also her words).

You tried not to be awkward around Oikawa, but it was a bit hard when he wouldn’t stop staring at you and not coming to you. His brother noticed, of course, because he notices everything.

“You two did something, didn’t you?” His brother asked from behind you. 

“You would be the one to say something about it.” You felt him put his arm around your shoulders (it runs in the family, Oikawa’s mom does it too). “Is it that obvious?”

“It’s a little obvious to someone who knows.” He brought his head a little closer just in case. “Did he finally find out he loved you, too?”

“We kissed.” You confessed. “Multiple times.”

“Oh, even better. Next question: why aren’t you together?”

“I thought it was complicated.” You leaned closer to him. “It isn’t, though.”

“Send me the pinterest board for the wedding.” He said to you at the same time Takeru ran to him.

“Daddy!!” Takeru jumped into his arms. “Uncle told me to run over and ask what you guys are talking about.”

“Of course he did.” He took a step back and turned around, looking at you over his shoulder. You sent him a look as he went back into the house.

\--

You had crashed into Iwaizumi’s house before. It was nothing crazy, just a kid on a four-wheeler for the first time. 

Oikawa’s older brother had gotten two four-wheelers for his birthday and gave you and Oikawa a (very brief) run down on how to drive it before sending you both off in them. The four-wheelers only went so fast, and it was very easy to start and brake, it was made for kids of course.

However, you happened to get the one that didn’t run the best. The brakes didn’t work as well as they should’ve.

So, as you tried to catch up to Oikawa (who just drove full speed into Iwaizumi’s backyard to show off), you couldn’t stop in time and crashed right into their gutter that drained the water from the roof. 

Iwaizumi’s parents rushed out, promising you that it was perfectly fine and not to worry about it. But you were on the ground, covered in mud.

Oikawa was the one who rushed to your side like he was an active doctor, asking you if you were okay and telling you to stay awake like you were dying. He always was the dramatic one.

Sometimes, you can still see the small spot where you crashed into the corner of Iwaizumi’s house. Oikawa had always been your knight in shining armor, even if he was the one who got you into a majority of the messes you ended up in.

\--

Dinner had ended a while ago, and now you sat in Oikawa’s room for the millionth time, feeling out of place as if it was the first time. Like you had to ask permission to breathe his air or look at his generic blue plaid bed comforters.

He noticed.

He patted the place beside him on the bed, and you obliged. The entire room smelled like him, overwhelming your senses. Oikawa always smelled like mint and flowers.

“I kissed Kuroo today.” You said. The first thing you’ve said to him since your little… movie night.

“Okay. You…kissed Kuroo today.” Oikawa repeated. He didn’t have any emotion in his voice but you knew him better than that. “I guess I can’t really say anything about that.”

You rolled your eyes, sending him a smile. You placed your hand on top of his, in his lap. He looked down at you. 

“It wasn’t like that. Kissing Kuroo made me realize something.”

“Listen, if you want to date him I’m not going to blame you. I’ve literally come to your house in the middle of the night to escape some girl in my bed while you were in love with me and…”

“I’m going to stop you there, overthinker.” You focused on your hands, rubbing your thumb along a vein on his hand. “Now it’s you who’s saying that I _was_ in love with you.”

“Hm?” He was lost.

You looked up at him again. “You used past tense. As I was going to say, kissing Kuroo made everything very clear for me and I realized that I haven’t told you something that I really should’ve told you years ago.”

“ _Oh god, it’s happening._ ”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Well, that’s fortunate.” Oikawa sighed, bringing his hands to your face and tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb. “Because I happen to be in love with you, too.”


	12. start of spring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to thank you all for the love and support i've received on this! i hope you all enjoyed this as much as i did! everyone in the haikyuu fanbase have welcomed me so beautifully, so i can't wait to write more for kawa or kuroo, or haikyuu in general in the future!
> 
> anyway, i hope you all enjoy this and i can't thank you all enough!

Knowing Tooru Oikawa the entirety of your life had its pros. You were never an outcast, always invited to social events, and you got to watch all of the volleyball games for free. Being his best friend also led you to be friends with the rest of the team, you had a permanent spot at the lunch table and a locker next to his. Being his next door neighbor and family friend also included awesome parties, Saturday movie nights, and 

Being in love with Tooru Oikawa also had its pros. When he would casually put his arm around your shoulder, it would send a shiver down your spine. Or when he would bend down at the waist for you to fix his tie, and you were just a tad too close, it would be on your mind for the rest of the day. Friendly mannerisms would send you into a spiral.

Your love for him was much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. Too bad he never liked the cold, never paying attention to the blatant obvious. It seemed as though Oikawa was the one person in the entire world who hadn’t noticed that you loved him.

But he knew that now. As it turns out, he loved you just as much and for not quite as long.

Because when you would fix his tie, and he was just a tad too close, his eyes went directly to your lips. Or when he would call you from an entire hallway away and you would smile at him, he wanted to reach you as soon as possible. Or when he would point you out in the crowd, wearing his jersey, he would see you like a spotlight in a dark room.

So maybe he did love you for as long as you loved him, it just took his time to bubble into a realization.

When he kissed you that night, the night both of you confessed, he made you feel warmer than you ever had been before.

\--

You weren’t dating. Not yet, at least, and not officially.

Don’t get it wrong, you loved him. And he loved you too, apparently. But it takes a while for trust to reform, and things to go back to what was once normal. He apologized to you enough for your lifetime, and you apologized to him too.

“I’ll give you as much time as you need.” Oikawa had told you after a kiss to your temple. “I’ll wait.”

You both were laying in Oikawa’s bed now, legs tangled together and facing each other. You would sometimes play with his hands and fingers, and he would sometimes reach for your face. It was comfortable.

“I don’t want to be a distraction.” You said to him.

The school year was almost over, entrance exams coming close and the final volleyball games arriving just as quickly. You weren’t only thinking of your trust, or only thinking about what people would say. You were thinking of being a distraction when he had a lot of things to focus on.

“You would never be a distraction.” He replied, pushing some of your hair out of your face. “And even if you were, you would be the best distraction ever.”

\--

“I feel like I’ve been waiting twelve chapters in a fanfic for y’all to be together.” Matsukawa told you at lunch.

The three of you had returned to your lunch study sessions. Though this time was actually spent studying now that exams were around the corner. Iwaizumi had been on both of your asses (he even made a group chat with just you three to send links to things to read). He was the only reason you were confident about exams, but you would never tell him that. 

“Have I told you that you’re dramatic?” you said. “Iwa, tell your boyfriend that he’s dramatic.”

“I don’t know. I feel like it’s been years since you found us in the closet, literally and figuratively. It does feel like forever.”

“I cannot believe I’m being tag teamed here!”

“Sweetheart, you would have the best time of your life if you were tag teamed by us.” Matsukawa said, sending you an obvious wink.

Iwaizumi hit him with a pen, surprise written all over his face. “I cannot believe…”

“Shh, it’s a library, my love.” Matsukawa sent him a smile and turned to send you a look. You giggled.

\--

Iwaizumi called you one night, it was already dark and he was very clearly walking.

“Hey, I know that it’s late and you’re probably doing something but I need a favor.” He said.

“What’s up?”

“It’s Oikawa.”

\--

Tooru Oikawa had a tendency to overwork himself. He constantly needed to be the best he could possibly be, and that included staying extra hours and staying up for days on end. Most of the time, he would eventually either wear himself out or Iwaizumi would talk him out of it before it got too bad. 

He never liked you seeing him like that.

So, there he was. Still at the school, the sky dark and everyone at home, practicing his serves. There was basically holes in the floor by how hard he was hitting them, how fast they were going. Oikawa was a sweating mess, face red and chest heaving.

“’Kawa, I think you’re good.” You told him from your position at the door. “It’s late, let’s go home.”

He didn’t hear you, of course, continuing his serving. He was going to collapse if he kept it up, you thought.

You walked over to him, grabbing his arms as he bounced the ball to the floor (getting ready for yet another serve). He paused, frozen, as he realized that you were there. His eyes were red when he looked at you.

“Oh. Hey, nut.”

“’Kawa, you’re doing it again.”

“I’m fine.”

“ _No_. You’re not.” His arms were shaking in your hands. That’s how long he had been there, his strength not keeping up anymore. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“I can’t. Just a couple more…”

“’Kawa, what’s going on?” You were searching for his eyes, but he kept his head down. His hair was dripping in sweat, some pieces sticking to his forehead. 

“I just. I have to get this. I have to.” He said. His voice was low, from exhaustion or from his anxiety, you didn’t know. “I have to get it absolutely _Tperfect_ otherwise I shouldn’t even be here. I can’t keep _fucking shit up all the time_ and…”

“It’s already perfection.” You interrupted him, letting go of his hands and reaching up to place your hands on his cheeks to lift his head up. “Overexerting yourself will only make it worse. You’re brilliant, you know that. I know that. And you aren’t a fuck up, either. So, let’s go home and get some rest. That way you can use your perfect serve tomorrow at the tournament.”

Oikawa looked at you, searching your eyes for some indication that you were lying. When he didn’t, he nodded weakly. “Okay. Okay.”

You pressed a kiss to his lips. He tasted like salt, and it was wet and gross, but it made both of you feel better. He chased after your lips after you moved back.

He stayed at your house that night. He showered in your shower and fell asleep with his head on your chest. He had cried earlier, and you knew that, but maybe a silent reassurance was what he needed.

\--

“Good luck today, Tetsurou Kuroo.” You handed him your hoodie (his hoodie).

He was about to deny your offer, tell you that he had to wear his uniform, when you said “I wore it all day today, got dress coded and all. It’s a token of good luck. Wear it.”

“Fine.” He pulled it over his head.

Your relationship with Kuroo wasn’t strained at all. It was strange, actually. You would think that after a kiss, after telling him that you were in love with someone else, after you told him your entire life story, that everything was still the same.

Maybe that’s a perk of being best friends. It was like hanging out with Iwaizumi, almost. Though you couldn’t really compare the relationships, they were completely different. You have kissed them both, though, now that you thought about it. Moving on.

Seijoh was the school hosting the tournament, so a lot of students were there. Many from other schools, family and friends who came to watch. People were filtering in and out. Kuroo happened to meet up with you before you were going to wish Oikawa good luck.

“Oi!” Kuroo called over your shoulder, and you turned to see who he was calling over. A boy with dyed blonde hair appeared at Kuroo’s side, wearing the same red. “Kenma, this is the girl I told you about.”

“Kenma? As in your best friend Kenma?” you turned to the newly introduced boy. “Hi. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I heard a lot about you, too.” Kenma said. He spoke low, quite different than Kuroo’s natural extraversion. 

“What game are you playing?” You asked, gesturing to the game in his hand. “I used to play my nintendo all the time, but I haven’t had time recently.”

“Really? What’s your favorite game?”

As you and Kenma got into a discussion about old video games, Kuroo couldn’t help but smile. His two favorite people were great together.

\--

You had been Oikawa’s rock since you were children. He always thought about you whenever there was a minor inconvenience or if there was something he needed to tell someone. You were the first one he told when he found out his brother’s girlfriend (now wife) was pregnant, you were the first one he talked to when he was going to talk to his mom about a summer volleyball program, you were the first one he complained to when he tried to wash his own clothes for the first time and got bleach stains all over his favorite shirt.

You had always been the one.

Oikawa never wanted to rely on anyone, he wanted everything to be done independently and with pride. Yet, there you were. Always. And he never had a second thought about it.

Because he was also your rock.

You would listen to him, too, when he would come to you. You would hug him when he needed a hug, you would throw a volleyball up for him when he needed help, you would make him a sandwich when he needed a sandwich. All without him actually telling you that he needed those things.

One day, in elementary, the teacher asked the students to write about themselves. It was a simple project, just write about you, your favorites, and whatnot. One of the questions was “ _who do you look up to the most?_ ”

Oikawa wrote your name.

\--

The volleyball tournament was starting soon, everyone standing around talking and hanging out before the first game. You stood by Seijoh’s bench with Oikawa, laughing at something he told you.

Tetsurou Kuroo leaned against the wall under the bleachers. The way the gym was set up, the bleachers were accessed by stairs and there was a good length of wall under them. That’s where Kuroo stood, away from the rest of his team since they weren’t playing the first game yet. (They had to wait for Seijoh to win first, and then they would play a team, and then they would play Seijoh if they won that game. That was the stupidest explanation but that should explain it in simple terms).

He had his arms crossed against his chest as he stared at the forming couple. His hoodie still smelled like you.

“You know, gawking at them only makes it suck.” A voice said from above him. 

Kuroo looked over his shoulder to find Sana. She sat on the bleacher floor, swinging her legs over the open area and arms crossed over the bars keeping kids from falling to the gym floor. She smiled at him. Her hair was dyed, and she looked as incredible as she always did.

“You would know.” Kuroo said. “Sorry, that came out mean. I didn’t mean it like that. Your hair looks good blonde, by the way.”

“Thank you, and don’t worry about it.” She pushed his shoulder with her foot. “But seriously. You’ve been staring at them since they got here.”

“So you’ve been staring at me staring at them?”

“I guess I have.” Sana smiled at him again. “It’s weird, huh? To finally see them together.”

“Yeah.” Kuroo looked back at the two of you, your hand on Oikawa’s arm. “I don't think it's weird to see them together. I think it's more weird that I was a middle guy."

"You're telling me." She laughed. “Good thing we're cool as hell, huh? Where are you sitting to watch?”

“With my team.” Kuroo looked over Sana’s shoulder to where the group of red sat. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you sat with us, if you would care to join.”

“I would love to.”

\--

Girls swarmed Oikawa before the game. They wished him good luck, taking pictures with him and giggling whenever he spoke directly to them. He basically towered over them, too. 

His eyes found yours and he sent you a gorgeous smile.

“Sorry ladies,” Oikawa told them as you moved closer. “I have to give my girl some attention.”

“You guys are so cute I’m so jealous!” one girl exclaimed, while another girl sighed “I wish I had a boyfriend like him.”

“Not dating, not yet.” Oikawa corrected her. He looked back to you. “Hello, nut.”

“Hey, ‘Kawa.” 

The girls all disappeared, dispersing like mice. Oikawa’s full attention was on you. 

“How are you feeling?” You asked, putting your hand on his arm. He wasn’t shaking.

“Better. Got wonderful sleep.” He joked. You chuckled. “I never got to thank you.”

“You don’t have t…”

“Thank you.” He stopped your spiel. “For everything. I wouldn’t be standing here if you hadn’t stuck with me this long, whether you were in love with me or not. And thank you for last night, too.”

“Well, what can I say?” you shrugged. “I’m kind of dope.”

“Yeah, you’ve definitely been hanging out with Kuroo haven’t you?”

“Eh, a little.”

Oikawa shook his head, but he was smiling. He was going to say something else when Iwaizumi and Hanamaki arrived by the bench, followed by the rest of the team.

“Time to warm up.” The coach told them. 

“Good luck.” You told Oikawa, holding his hand. “ _You got this._ ” You turned to the rest of the team as you headed towards the bleachers. “Good luck, you guys!”

A chorus of thank yous from the team. Oikawa’s eyes watched you for as long as he would allow before returning his attention to his team.

\--

You waited outside for Oikawa and Iwaizumi. It felt good, to be back to normal and to be back into your routine. You missed this.

Oikawa came out first, smiling and cheeks stained with tears. It was a good game, they won the tournament, and he was basically shining. You smiled back almost as an instinct.

“Hey, nut!” He exclaimed, coming to you.

He hugged you, wrapping his arms around you. Your feet even left the ground. You giggled, smacking his arm and yelling at him to put you down. He did (though after another spin or two).

“Oh! I have something for you.” Oikawa rolled his backpack over his shoulder to rummage around inside.

He handed you his jersey.

“I believe this belongs to you.”

“I missed this.”

“I did too.” He was staring at you.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, giggling again. You leaned into him a bit. Iwaizumi came out not too long after, rolling his eyes at your proximity. Oikawa looked over his shoulder at his best friend, winking. 

“C’mon, Iwa!”

“You two go ahead.”

A shrug. Iwaizumi waved you both away, hanging back until Matsukawa came out of the doors. You sent him a knowing look.

So, with your jersey back in your hand, Oikawa walked you home. You talked as you walked, giggling and laughing and teasing and bumping into each other with your hips. It was warm, full, and growing into something new, something kind and bright.

It felt like spring had finally arrived.

**fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all, folks! love you all. so much.


End file.
